10. “Almost Famous,” by Cameron Crowe and Tom Kitt (Broadway)
Crowe’s semiautobiographical musical, based on his semiautobiographical movie about a teenage reporter (Casey Likes) on the road with rockers and groupies, leaves one to wonder, “Where’s his mother?” Tellingly, the big moments are not the original songs but rock standards that sound much more authentic in the 2000 movie.
9. “Paradise Square,” by Christina Anderson, Craig Lucas and Larry Kirwin; Nathan Tysen and Masi Asare; and Jason Howland (Braodway)
Only “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” featured more dancing, happy hookers. Set loose in New York’s Five Corners, these sex workers came bubble-wrapped with enough important issues to soften even the most ornery moralist. Tony winner Joaquina Kalukango singing “Let It Burn” came uncannily close to Elsa singing “Let It Go” in “Frozen.”
8. “A Beautiful Noise,” by Neil Diamond and Anthony McCarten (Broadway)
Structured around several dour therapy sessions, the musical reveals that the singer-songwriter who has sold more than 130 million records is really a depressive personality. In between singing his greatest hits, Diamond (Will Swenson and Nick Fradiani) remains in a severe funk. Michael Mayer directs the star’s writing of the ditty “Sweet Caroline” as if Liberace had discovered the Tristan chord.
7. “KPOP,” by Jason Kim, Helen Park and Max Vernon (Broadway)
Despite many of them sounding like Alvin and the Chipmunks, pop stars in South Korea have it really, really tough. At one point, a future diva (Luna) in distress rehearsed her dance moves to a recording, which sounded no different from when she was singing live.
6. “The Skin of Our Teeth,” by Thornton Wilder with additional material by Branden Jacobs-Jenkins (Broadway)
This overproduced and utterly lifeless revival, directed by Lileana Blain-Cruz, received a few Tony Award nominations. That fact aside, never in my 50-plus years of going to Broadway shows have I witnessed so many walkouts at the two intermissions. Oh, to have been one of those lucky theatergoers.
5. “1776,” by Peter Stone and Sherman Edwards (Broadway)
It’s the 1969 musical that makes you wish the British had won. The directors Jeffrey L. Page and Diane Paulus deliver one great idea: not to cast men as the Founding Fathers. Unfortunately, even male drag can’t make us like any of these revolutionaries.
4. “The Little Prince,” by Chris Mouron and Terry Truck (Broadway)
The Antoine de Saint-Exupery children’s classic about an aviator and a little boy who visits several planets was adapted into a musical that played Paris, Dubai and Sydney before crash-landing in New York City. A lot of third-rate Cirque du Soleil acrobatics failed to coalesce into a charming story, much less a cogent one.
3. “Notre Dame de Paris,” by Luc Plamondon and Richard Cocciante (Off Broadway’s (David H. Koch Theater)
The French had a rough year in Manhattan. After reportedly entertaining over 13 million people worldwide, this musical adaptation of the Victor Hugo classic lumbered into Lincoln Center, where It played like “Notre Dame de Vegas.” The show made even less sense than “The Little Prince” but it was louder.
2. “The Collaboration,” by Anthony McCarten (Broadway)
Paul Bettany and Jeremy Pope are Andy Warhol and Jean-Michel Basquiat in name only. With his “Straight Line Crazy,” David Hare performs a similar task of taking real names and a few facts and passing them off as a true story. At least Hare never has New York Gov. Al Smith tell master builder Robert Moses, “You don’t know how to return love.” Unfortunately, Warhol in the first few minutes of McCarten’s play is thrown that curve ball of dimestore Freud.
1. “MJ,” by Michael Jackson and Lynn Nottage (Broadway)
Sometimes a show isn’t bad. It is downright despicable. Christopher Wheeldon’s flashy choreography tarts up Nottage’s radically misinformed book, which blames the press for tormenting Michael Jackson (the Tony-winning Myles Frost). The King of Pop’s molestation of several little boys — he settled two sexual abuse cases out of court and died before two other cases were dismissed because the statute of limitations had expired — is blithely dismissed as “allegations.” Wheeldon and Nottage might next want to turn the life of Harvey Weinstein into a musical. They can tell us how much they both enjoyed “Shakespeare in Love.”
Now, check out to see Robert Hofler’s list of the year’s best New York theater productions, including the Tony winner “A Strange Loop.”
