The Beyhive is aswarm Monday after Tiffany Haddish told GQ that an unnamed actress bit Beyonce’s face at a party in December.
“There was this actress there that’s just, like, doing the mostest,” Haddish told GQ. “She bit Beyoncé in the face.”
So who did it? No one knows, and Haddish isn’t saying. Beyoncé’s representative told GQ she “absolutely can’t comment on any of this, as I have no knowledge.”
But that didn’t stop the legions of Beyonce stans from demanding that someone, anyone do something.
Dear Special Counsel Mueller,
I know you’re busy trying to safeguard Democracy. And you’ve been doing a really great job. But, if you have time, we’d love your talents to be focused on #WhoBitBeyonce.
We need to know.
Sincerely,
America
— Jeremy D. Thompson (@Reelpolitik) March 26, 2018
Everyone at that party needs to release a public statement confirming that they didn’t do it. Better yet, someone just needs to fess up. Y’all know beehive’s gonna have a name by midnight EST #WhoBitBeyonce
— k (@letsgoswifties) March 26, 2018
On the next season of American Crime Story #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/XwS3KStukd
— Joel Cazares (@joelczres) March 26, 2018
IF YOU HAVE A NAME AND YOU AREN’T SPILLING YOU ARE HARBORING A FUGITIVE! #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/j2nt01a0sH
— First Lady of Music 🐝 (@FBEYI4) March 26, 2018
Some tried to crack the case themselves. Though, if you ask us, the Blue Ivy theory doesn’t make much sense.
The whole “actress bit Beyoncè” is a coverup. There’s only one human on earth who would have the audacity to harm Beyoncè that Beyoncè would defend. #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/tnRGGNll23
— fatmattindishoe (@FattusMattus) March 26, 2018
Even Marvel’s favorite drunken private eye, Jessica Jones, got in on the action, writing, “Let a professional handle this.”
Let a professional handle this. #WhoBitBeyonce
— Jessica Jones (@JessicaJones) March 26, 2018
Model Chrissy Teigen thought she knew the truth. But then she said she found out who it really was, someone she “*never*” would have guessed.
You’ll have to guess though, Teiagn isn’t saying who it is.
Update it is NOT the person I think is the worst. IM DONE
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018
My initial guess was wrong. The real person? I *never* would have guessed. I’VE SAID TOO MUCH
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018
Sanaa Lathan, the subject of unfounded speculation that she was the Beyonce biter, issued a swift denial — but include a comical “if I did it”: “Y’all are funny. Under no circumstances did I bite Beyonce and if I did it would’ve been a love bite.”
Bey fans responded by sending her images of buzzing bees.
Y’all are funny. Under no circumstances did I bite Beyonce and if I did it would’ve been a love bite 💋
— Sanaa Lathan (@justsanaa) March 26, 2018
https://www.instagram.com/p/BgzAp3fFweQ/
Of course, one conspiracy-minded fan came to a complex conclusion that suggested a plot between Beyonce and Haddish.
What if this is all an elaborate setup for Beyonce to release a new song/music video and @TiffanyHaddish has been in on it the whole time? #WhoBitBeyoncé pic.twitter.com/yi2bjrLo12
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) March 26, 2018
“What if this is all an elaborate setup for Beyonce to release a new song/music video and @TiffanyHadish has been in on it the whole time?” asked journalist Yashar Ali.
They wouldn’t — would they?