Showrunner Tracy McMillan decided against watching the filming of the TV version of herself, Paige Alexander (Kerry Washington), being taken to a foster home in “UnPrisoned” Season 2, Episode 7, saying it emotionally triggered personal memories from her childhood.
“It didn’t even occur to me that I shouldn’t watch it. I was like, ‘Maybe I don’t need to see this,’” McMillan told TheWrap. “When we shoot a scene, we don’t just do it once, we do it 15 times. All these different angles, and I was like, ‘It’s probably better if I don’t relive the moment of being taken to foster care. I probably don’t need that. I wrote it, and that was fine. I watched the rehearsal, [I knew] these actors were going to do amazing things with it. I trust the director, but probably don’t need to see this because it was traumatizing.’”
For those who don’t know, or are just catching up on the Hulu/Onyx Collective series, “UnPrisoned” is based on McMillan’s real life and her adjustment to her now-late father re-entering her life after being released from prison. In Episode 7: “A PTCD Christmas Carole,” McMillan’s TV self Paige (Kerry Washington) grapples with her longstanding disdain for Christmas.
Eventually, a younger Paige, played by Jordyn McIntosh, helps remind older Paige of her hate’s origin: it all stems from her memories of when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo), was imprisoned. Ultimately, Paige’s mother gave her up to a foster home, which played out as a flashback in the show. But even rehearsing the scene was challenging for McMillan, as she’d endured the situation in real life.
“I could feel in rehearsal that it was upsetting. I was upset, and normally I have a lot of — as a writer you’re back here, you’re up here. [But] acting is very embodied,” McMillan said, adding that on the flip side, there are therapeutic moments for her on set as well.
“There’s one in particular where Delroy has a line of dialogue where he says, ‘Her mother walked out on her before she could tie her shoes. We don’t know that kind of pain.’ When he said that, I felt like, ‘Oh my God, finally I have a witness,’” McMillan explained. “I didn’t even know I felt a release.”
“I was like, ‘OK, I’ve been here. Somebody knows,” she added. “Now if I’m having that experience, I’m going to say at least some of the people in the audience are going to have the same experience. That is what makes Delroy such a powerful actor. I don’t mean to single him out, but that is just a moment where when I’m watching it [acted out] in real life, and then I’m watching it on screen, is setting me free. It’s been an interesting process to write about these things, no question about it.”
The idea for the scene came from a conversation in the writers’ room where one of the writers suggested a Christmas-themed episode. McMillan said she wanted her character to develop newfound feelings toward the holiday, but also portray what it’s like for people who have a difficult relationship with “the most wonderful time of the year.”
“Somebody was like, ‘Let’s do a Christmas episode,’ and I’m like, ‘Oh, I hate Christmas.’ And then somebody else was like, ‘Well, that’s the episode.’ In the last three years, I have had a personal healing around Christmas, where suddenly I’m like, ‘I think I might try to like Christmas,’” McMillan said.
“I had a different story than the one in the [show], but I went through a process to go, ‘How can I interact with Christmas in a new way?’ Because I think a lot of people who have — certainly foster children — things that other people find really happy, warm family memories can be big aches for us,” she added. “Because [we’re] in Christmas without your parents. My main, biggest foster home, I went there in January [at the time]. I arrived Jan. 4, and that means Christmas was hell. Somehow, that was it, and I never lived with my mother ever again. That means [Christmas] was pretty rocky.”
The episode itself speaks to the larger message that McMillan wants viewers to take away from the show.
“No matter what has happened to you, or no matter what you’ve done, you can carry it in a new way,” McMillan said. “You can be set free. It’s really a story about, how do we set ourselves free? How do we set ourselves and our family members free?”
“UnPrisoned” Season 2 — which dropped all eight episodes Wednesday, July 17, on Hulu — stars Washington, Lindo, Faly Rakotohavana, Marque Richardson, Jee Young Han, Jordyn McIntosh and more. Yvette Lee Bowser serves as showrunner and executive producer alongside McMillan, Washington, Lindo, Pilar Savone, Joy Gorman Wettels and Jen Braeden.
How to Watch 'UnPrisoned' Season 2