Allison Holker is opening up about life without Stephen “tWitch” Boss just over two years after his death, revealing the “really scary” discovery she made while preparing for her late husband’s funeral.
As detailed in her upcoming memoir, the dancer told People in an interview out Tuesday that she discovered a “cornucopia” of drugs following Boss’ suicide. Holker said she uncovered mushrooms, pills and several other substances she couldn’t immediately identify in a shoebox while trying to find an outfit for his funeral.
“It was very alarming to me to learn that there was so much happening that I had no clue [about],” she shared of the late “Ellen DeGeneres Show” star. “It was a really scary moment in my life to figure that out, but it also helped me process that he was going through so much and he was hiding so much, and there must have been a lot of shame in that.”
“So You Think You Can Dance” stars Holker and Boss got married in 2013. During the course of their marriage, Boss adopted Holker’s daughter from a previous relationship, and they had a son and a daughter together. In December of 2022, Boss was found dead at the age of 40. His death was ruled a suicide.
Holker further revealed she went through Boss’ journals following his death. That’s when she learned about how much pain he was in, which he tried to hide from his loved ones (there were also implications of childhood sexual abuse in the journals, per People).
“It’s hard to think that he never opened up to someone and wanted to face it, to get through on the other side. I really hope people dealing with the same thing will help themselves out of the shadows and [know] you’re going to be OK,” she said.
Holker’s book “This Far” hits shelves on Feb. 4.
