After seeing the run of absolutely insane cabinet picks Donald Trump has been making for his second term, an incredulous Stephen Colbert had just one question: “Where’s my job offer?”
There was of course a lot of inspiration for this line of thinking. For instance, on Tuesday Trump announced he’ll be hiring former WWE CEO Linda McMahon as his Secretary of Education, and Dr. Mehmet Oz to oversee Medicaid and Medicare.
But it was some earlier bleak news along these lines that got Colbert to his question during his monologue.
“Trump picked another TV man to be Secretary of Transportation, former Wisconsin representative Sean Duffy,” Colbert said. “He was in he was a congressman Wisconsin, or something like that. He was in Congress. But we all know that’s not why Trump picked him.”
“It’s because he’s the co host of Fox businesses. The bottom line again, everyone with a TV show gets a call. Where’s my job offer? Where is it?” Colbert demanded.
And yes, Duffy is currently a Fox Business host.
“Let’s make a deal. Let’s make a deal. I will stop talking about you all together if I get an ambassadorship, but I mean a good one,” Colbert continued. “I’m talking any country mentioned in the song Kokomo. Okay? Bermuda, Bahama. I’d be willing to be ambassador to ‘come on pretty mama.’”
Earlier, Colbert also talked about Oz, noting Trump is “still just picking people he sees on TV. Next up, the head of Amtrak goes to Thomas the Tank Engine.”
“In a statement, Trump talked about Oz’s education, his surgical work. Meow, meow, meow, then the real reason he picked him: ‘He won nine Daytime Emmy Awards hosting the Dr Oz show,’” Colbert explained.
“I didn’t know winning TV awards qualified you to administer our medical system. I’ve never heard anyone yell ‘this man is having a heart attack! Quick, does anyone here have an outstanding achievement in formative daytime talk?’”
“If you need a reminder why Dr Oz is a questionable choice,” Colbert continued,
“He spent years on TV peddling quack medical treatments, including promoting a debunked cure all called Colloidal Silver, which, if taken high quantities, can cause a permanent bluish gray discoloration of the skin. So seniors, you may lose your Medicare, but maybe your grandkids will want to visit Nana Smurf.”
You can watch the whole monologue below now: