Have you heard the news yet? OK, if not, SPOILER ALERT: The investigation into former CBS chief Les Moonves concluded Monday, and the company’s board of directors says he “will not receive any severance payment.”
And on Tuesday night, “Late Show” host and current CBS employee Stephen Colbert realized the network “has the perfect sound effect” for this occasion: “The Price Is Right” losing horn.
Moonves was accused of sexual misconduct by six women in a New Yorker article written by Ronan Farrow in July. Six more women later came forward, and Moonves resigned as CEO of CBS in September following a two-month investigation but has denied all accusations.
Colbert played the “womp womp” noise Tuesday night to punctuate the news that Moonves — or as Colbert calls him, “the reason we all have to go through sensitivity training” — isn’t getting a dime of his $120 million golden parachute.
“I wonder what is going to happen to all that money, $120 million,” he said. “I’m pretty sure it goes to me. I get half of it. I get half of it, the other half goes to Tom Selleck’s mustache.”
The late-night host noted CBS’ board found they had “grounds for termination” due to Moonves’ “willful failure to cooperate fully with the Company’s investigation.”
Colbert wonders how it’s possible Moonves thought he would get away with that, saying: “Every show he’s greenlit for the last 20 years was about investigations!” He then added: “On the bright side, on the bright side, on the bright side, CBS has enough material for a new procedural: ‘NCIS: Human Resources.’”
Finally, Colbert attempted to reassure his viewers by saying there is really nowhere Moonves can go now: ” What job could a famous TV billionaire with sexual allegations possibly get … oh, my God!”
Don’t worry, if Moonves runs for president, Colbert says “he’d still be better” than Trump.
Watch the video above.