JD Vance needs to “practice fisting,” a faux commercial aired by Stephen Colbert argued Thursday night on “The Late Show.” A real video recently resurfaced on social media of the vice presidential candidate’s visit with United Auto Workers union members on the picket line in Toledo, Ohio in 2023, where he was filmed attempting to shake the hand of a woman who had offered a fist bump.
Introducing the clip, Colbert explained, “Now, it would have to be awkward to be worth showing something from 11 months ago… And it is.” After grabbing her fist in his hand, Vance then went for a fist bump, but his own fist was awkwardly left dangling in the air as he faced his mistake.
“Ah, the female has presented her fist,” Colbert-as-Vance robotically said in his monologue. “I know this one. Paper covers rock. Man covers woman. Woman bears child. Human interaction complete.”
The show also featured a spoof advertisement highlighting Vance’s faux pas — and how Vance or anyone in a similar situation could fix it. As footage from the visit with auto workers played, a voiceover said, “Has this happened to you? Someone offers you their fist and you don’t know what to do, leaving you confused and hanging?”
“Well, not anymore. Introducing the JD Vance Rubber Fist Bump Aid,” the announcer intoned, revealing a floppy rubber fist that could be mistaken for a sex toy.
“This life-like silicone fist allows you to practice fisting in the comfort of your own home. With the JD Vance Rubber Fist, you’ll be an expert fister in no time,” the winking commercial continued, over footage of Vance leading a crowd in pumping their fists in the air.
“And what does JD Vance have to say about the JD Vance Rubber Fist? ‘Daddy loves you very much,’” the vice presidential candidate himself is shown saying in an out-of-context clip playing up the double entendres. “So when you think of fisting, think JD Vance.” The spot closes with a soft jingle as a woman gently sings, “JD Vance does fisting right.”
Colbert is far from the only commentator who has called out Vance and Donald Trump’s odd — or “weird” — behavior in recent weeks. During his “A Closer Look” segment on “Late Night,” Seth Meyers commented that the pair “can’t beat the weird charges” levied against them, no matter how hard they try.
You can watch the clips from “the Late Show with Stephen Colbert” in the videos above.
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