During his monologue on Wednesday, Stephen Colbert touched on Donald Trump’s latest criminal trial. And “The Late Show” host was particularly delighted by reports that the prosecutors in this trial might want his fans on the jury.
“Trump’s criminal trial starts here in New York on Monday,” Colbert said, by which he means, the trial over the hush money Trump paid to Stormy Daniels.
“The first read first order of business is jury selection. Reportedly, Trump’s lawyers want a jury that includes public employees like police officers, firefighters and sanitation workers,” Colbert said. “Well, sanitation workers make sense and they’re gonna want jurors who are comfortable with giant sacks of garbage.”
“On the other hand, on the other hand, prosecutors are looking for educated voters from Democratic neighborhoods and are fishing for those who are fond of late night comedians like Stephen Colbert,” Colbert said, mostly accurately.
This caused Colbert to crow happily. “Damn straight, my audience is perfect to decide this case. It’s all in our new slogan, ‘The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, guaranteed to get you jury duty. You’re welcome.’”
Later, Colbert talked about how the Women’s NCAA basketball finals got bigger ratings than the men’s finals for the first time.
“That’s kind of neat, that’s cool. It’s official, women’s basketball? Now you’re basketball. Everyone else is playing ‘boysketball,’” Colbert joked.
“In light of this news, CBS might want to make its primetime lineup a little more female focused. So tune in Sunday at 9pm for ‘track her,’” Colbert added, riffing on CBS’ heavy promotion of the show “Tracker,” something he’s made fun of a lot this season.
Watch the full monologue above.