On Monday’s “The Late Show,” host Stephen Colbert spent a lot of time unpacking the extremist religious beliefs of Mike Johnson, the right wing Republican from Louisiana elected Speaker of the House last week.
But while explaining how Johnson’s bible literalism is both nonsensical and very unevenly applied, Colbert also had a little fun at the fact that Johnson — no, really — believes that dinosaurs were on Noah’s Ark. Which led to an amusing fake trailer for a parody of “Jurassic Park” called “Jurassic Ark.”
Colbert started by reminding the audience of how last week, Johnson told Sean Hannity that anyone who wants to know his worldview should “pick up a bible.”
“Well, okay, you know if that’s great if the Bible is his worldview, on any issue,” Colbert said. “I don’t know why progressives are nervous. He’s clearly going to ask the rich to sell all their possessions and give the money to the poor.”
“You know, being biblically faithful is not easy for a guy from Louisiana because now he has to give up shrimp, crab oysters and barbecued pork. And I’m sure he’s gonna miss his wife when she has to be cast out of town during the time of her blood, and only allowed to return when she brings a turtledove to the tabernacle for the priests to sacrifice,” Colbert joked.
Colbert then noted several of Johnson’s more extremist views, such as his opposition to LGBTQ rights, which allowed him to transition to the dinosaurs thing.
“Johnson,” Colbert explained, “helped get public funding for an organization called Answers in Genesis, which believes the earth is only 6000 years old, so they could get public funding to build a theme park in Kentucky called the Ark Encounter. A life sized Noah’s Ark Museum… Now, according according to the literature Museum is a place where children can learn that dinosaurs were passengers on the ark.”
And after a few more jokes Colbert teed up the fake trailer.
“From Universal Pictures and the mind of Mike Johnson comes the greatest adventure ever told. Welcome to Jurassic Park. The story we build a 300 cubit-boat, filled it with delicious animals, and then added meat-eating dinosaurs,” the narrator says in the clip.
After reimagining the original “Jurassic Park” cast as various figures from the biblical story, the clip concludes, “This summer, set sail on an inexplicable floating buffet. Jurassic Ark. Read a G for Geezus.”
Watch the whole monologue at the top of the screen. The “Jurassic Ark” stuff is at the end.