A very anxious Stephen Colbert had a vivid metaphor for the general vibes on the final night before election day 2024 during his monologue on Monday’s “The Late Show.”
“We are all, in some true sense, about to witness history, good or bad,” Colbert said. “I’m guessing this is how the people of Pompeii felt when Vesuvius was trying to get re elected.”
Continuing the joke, Colbert pretended to be an ancient Roman official, adding “Okay, if the ash cloud goes that way, we celebrate. If the ash cloud heads toward us, everybody strike a cool pose. I’m doing Charlie’s Angels.”
“Of course, how I don’t know what’s going to happen, which is why you turn to the experts in moments like this,” Colbert continued. “So what, what do the polls have to say?”
At that he ran a clip of pundits weighing in: “It is a toss up”; “It’s looking like a photo finish”; “a dead heat”; “a dead heat”; “a dead heat”; “It’s too close to call”; “way too close to call.”
“You’re way too useless,” an exasperated Colbert interjected. “Grow a pair you cowards. I could I could get clearer prediction from a magic eight ball.”
Then he pulled an actual magic 8-ball out. But when he looked at the answer, he reported that it said, “Jill Stein 2024.” Yikes.
There’s obviously a lot more to the monologue, and you can watch the whole thing below: