Stephen Colbert was highly amused by Donald Trump’s Fox News town hall, held on Wednesday opposite the GOP debate hosted by CNN — which Trump skipped.
The Town Hall is also happening a week out from the Iowa Caucuses, the first stage of the 2024 GOP primary which Trump is very likely to win. And while explaining that, the CBS host made sure to point out a crucial fact to his audience
“Notably,” Colbert said, the town hall was Trump’s “first live appearance on Fox News in two years. It’s been so long, many of the anchors over there had forgotten what his butthole tastes like.”
But then Colbert got into some specifics, noting that “Trump kicked off his 2024 campaign by promising retribution, but last night, you struck a very different tone.”
At that, he played footage from the town hall where Trump said, “I’m not going to have time for retribution. We’re going to make this country so successful again. I’m not going to have time for it. And remember this our ultimate retribution is success.”
“You know what they say, living well is the best revenge. Which is why on Day 1, I’m going to throw a living Joe Biden down a well,” Colbert said while doing his Donald Trump impression.
“Now, while Donald Trump was over having a high old time on Fox, CNN held the final Republican primary debate before Iowa between Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley at Iowa’s Drake University,” Colbert continued. “You know their mascot: The Fighting Hotline Blings.”
“Haley and DeSantis are trailing Trump very badly, but they’re in it to win it. Let’s take a look at the debate action,” Colbert said, at which point he cued up a clip of two rats fighting over a piece of pizza.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jimmy. No, I’m sorry. That’s our mistake. That’s two rats fighting over a slice of pizza. That’s obviously not the primary debate because that rat fight had a meaningful result,” Colbert joked, referencing the fact that DeSantis and Haley have never come close to competing with Trump in Republican polls and will very likely lose to him handily in the primaries.
There’s plenty more, and you can watch the full monologue at the top of the page now.
