Stephen Colbert recapped the first night of the Democratic National Convention after it kicked off in Chicago on Monday, saying that while the night was long, it was jam-packed with exciting speakers and some hilarious moments.
“As you can tell from the vibrations, we are live from Chicago tonight! Windy City, following night one of the Democratic National Convention,” Colbert began his Monday monologue in front of a live audience in the city’s Auditorium Theatre. “It was an extraordinary night and extraordinarily long. Technically, we’ve just rolled over into the first night of the 2028 campaign.”
Before getting into the nitty gritty of the event, Colbert spotlighted the “lesser known” members of the Democratic Party, like Michigan Sen. Mallory McMorrow and Minnesota Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan. But he gave a special shout out to New York Gov. Kathy Hochul for fumbling her remarks about Vice President Kamala Harris potentially making history as the first president of the United States (who is a woman and a person of Black and Asian descent).
“We also heard from New York governor, Kathy Hochul, who wasted no time in making no sense,” Colbert poked after she asked the crowd: “Hello, Democrats! Are you ready to elect Kamala Harris, the first president … president of the United States?”
“Yes, yes, the first president of the United States,” Colbert shaded. “Now, it seems like that was a mistake, but it’s like what George Washington famously said, ‘That little girl was me.’”
He then moved on to Harris’ veep select, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, who didn’t speak but did engage in interviews on the side at the convention. While chatting it up with reporters, his son and daughter could be seen throwing up bunny ears behind his head.
“His kids added a little something extra,” Colbert said in response to a clip of the moment. “That’s fun, little bunny ears behind dad’s head. After that they gave [Majority Leader of the U.S. Senate] Chuck Schumer an atomic wedgie.”
And, of course, Colbert mentioned Harris’ surprise appearance, saying, “Surprise! It’s Kamala, which one month ago became the Democrats’ campaign slogan.”
Between touching upon the shade Hillary Clinton and Warriors head coach Steve Kerr threw at Donald Trump and praising Texas Rep. Jasmine Crockett for listing some of Trump’s stats — “34 felonies, two impeachments and one pornstar,” which Colbert called the “saddest Christmas carol ever” — the comedian then celebrated Georgia Sen. Raphael Warnock’s speech.
“One of the greatest speeches I’ve ever heard,” Colbert said of Warnock, who is also the senior pastor of Atlanta’s Ebenezer Baptist Church. “He burned that house to the ground, going Biblical on Trump.”
“I saw him holding the Bible, and endorsing a Bible as if it needed his endorsement. He should try reading it,” Warnock said during his speech.
“Of course, no, no, of course I’ve read it Raphael, and I live by one inspiring passage: 59.99, $68 in Canada,” Colbert mocked as Trump.
As he closed his monologue, the late night host also highlighted the wave of love President Joe Biden received from his colleagues.
“He was greeted by a four and a half a minute standing ovation,” Colbert said. “That was lovely … After decades of tireless public service, Biden entered into a crowd of thousands of chanting his name. If only he knew you could get the same thing by telling fart jokes on CBS. Biden stood on that stage, gave a powerful speech and proved to the country and to the world that he can stay up past 8 p.m.”
Leave a Reply