Frequent “Saturday Night Live” host Steve Martin kicked off the NBC show’s 50th anniversary special with a monologue which united him with fellow “SNL” icon John Mulaney and got Martin Short deported back to Canada by ICE.
“I’m Steve Martin, ‘Saturday Night Live’s’ newest diversity hire,” the 16-time ‘SNL” host joked at the top of his monologue. “What a thrill it is to be here. When I heard that ‘SNL’ wanted to do an anniversary special, I literally wanted to leap into the air. The only reason I didn’t is because, at the time, I was wearing a short skirt with no underwear.”
“I can’t believe I even made it here in time. It was only a few days ago that Lorne told me I was doing the monologue,” Martin added. “I was actually vacationing on a friend’s boat down in the Gulf of Steve Martin.” The “SNL50” guest then joked, “‘Saturday Night Live,’ as you know, turned 50 years old this year, and I turned 79, but I feel like I’m 65… which is also not good.”
“You’re going to see a lot of familiar things tonight,” Martin promised. “Musical guests, sketches, cameo appearances, the news and this is the monologue, traditionally the weakest part of the show. Yes, the monologue is like a rent-controlled tenant. It’s not going anywhere, even though it stinks.”
You can watch the full “SNL50” monologue below:
After jokingly paying tribute to the writers who, despite being “the heart and soul of ‘SNL’” were shown standing outside in the cold, Martin was joined by “Saturday Night Live” writer-turned-host John Mulaney. “We writers really appreciated that tribute, but I believe that the heart and soul of this show is the celebrity hosts, many of whom are in this room tonight,” Mulaney jested. “As I look around, I see some of the most difficult people I have ever met in my entire life.”
“Over the course of 50 years, 894 people have hosted ‘Saturday Night Live,’ and it amazes me that only two of them have committed murder. Each week, a new celebrity host comes in with their own dynamic, and they throw everything off,” Mulaney continued, before turning to reassure Martin. “But not you, Steve, because you have no dynamic.”
Following his playful jab, Mulaney bowed out to give space to Martin’s “Only Murders in the Building” co-star, five-time “SNL” host, and “the only Canadian who wasn’t in ‘Schitt’s Creek,’ Martin Short. “I thought we were hosting together?” Short asked, prompting Martin to inquire, “Do you have your passport on you?” When Short responded that he didn’t, Martin yelled, “ICE! Get him!”
As he was dragged offstage, Short begged, “No! No! I’ll cooperate! Don’t take me. I’ll name names. Mike Myers, Jim Carrey!… Damn you, you white-haired son of a b—h!” Left alone on stage, Martin noted, “Marty and I have been working together so long that we can actually finish each other’s careers.”
Capping off his intro, Martin turned to address viewers directly. “Now, I hope that you are enjoying my monologue tonight, but if you aren’t enjoying it, maybe you should get up and take a good look at yourself in the mirror,” the “SNL50” guest urged. “Say to yourself, ‘What have I become? This can’t be Steve’s fault.’ And ask yourselves, ‘When did I abandon joy? And what can I bring to the monologue as an audience member next time?’”
