“SNL50” brought the return of several veterans of the show, and sparked countless lists and rankings of the show’s history. So, Weekend Update opted to kill two birds with one stone, bringing back Bill Murray to rank all the hosts of the news segment of the show.
Of course, this was after Cecily Strong’s Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party returned, as well as Bobby Moynihan’s Drunk Uncle. Turns out, those two are married now, and Girl is actually Donald Trump’s new press secretary.
Seth Meyers even returned to talk to Lorne Michaels’s “best friends from growing up,” played in all their catty glory by Vanessa Bayer and Fred Armisen. But Murray was the closer, and he wasted no time in naming his favorite anchors.
To start, Murray first honored Black History Month and ranked the Black anchors — of which there is only one.
“We’ll start with number one, and this is by default, Michael Che,” Murray joked.
From there, he moved on to “the regular Weekend Update” hosts but took himself out of the running.
“Have to disqualify myself because my entire time here, I was on performance-enhancing drugs,” he joked. “It’s what we call an 88-shaker: quaaludes, cocaine and nighttime Theraflu.”
At number 10 was “one of the all-time greats” Colin…Quinn. If you’re wondering, no, Colin Jost didn’t actually make the list at all. Moving onto numbers nine, eight and seven, it was Kevin Nealon, Dennis Miller and Seth Meyers, respectively.
“The next two are controversial, this was tough,” Murray continued, “but I’m going to put Tina and Amy just ahead of Tina and Jimmy. Sorry, and congratulations, Tina. I checked online, and girl on girl is still, like, very, very popular.”
As Murray ran down the list, original Weekend Update anchor Chevy Chase only came in at number three. In the end, Murray gave the top spot to his own brother, Brian Doyle-Murray, who “is funny, he’s got a great smile, and he’s currently sleeping every kind of way with the lovely actress, Scarlett Johansson.”
You can watch Bill Murray rank the Weekend Update anchors in the video above.