“SNL” host Dave Chappelle opened his monologue on Saturday night by recounting how hard he tried to get out of hosting the show, then launched into a nearly 17-minute set that touched on everything from the LA wildfires and Trump to Palestine and Jimmy Carter.
Chappelle said that in October, Lorne Michaels called and asked him to host the first “Saturday Night Live” show after the presidential election “and I said nah I’m cool, I got all this money and stuff,” the comedian recounted. Chappelle said he finally agreed and “the moment I said yes, LA burst into flames.”
Thus began a segment of the monologue that elicited some uncomfortable laughter.
“This is the most expensive natural disaster that’s ever happened in United States history. And you want to know why I think that is? Because people in LA have nice stuff. I could burn 40,000 acres in Mississippi for like $600 or $700,” he joked.
Chappelle continued: “I watch news or talk to my friends, they all have these conspiracy theories about what started these fires. Now they say it’s arsonists. I’ve heard this theory, and I’m sure there was some arsonists, but there were a lot of elements that came together to make this fire the catastrophe it was. The winds were 100 miles an hour. Hell, they was as dry as a bone and the levees, and it was just too many facts. If you were a rational-thinking person, you have to at least consider the possibility that God hates these people.”
The comedian also tackled Diddy, recalling how his friends asked how he didn’t know anything about the alleged sex parties.
“My friends asked, they said, ‘Dave, did you know anything about those freak off parties?’ I was like nah man. I didn’t know anything about them,” he began. “They go, ‘Well how are all these people that you know at the freak off and you’re not at the freak off?’ and I thought about it for a second and I thought, ‘Oh my gosh. I’m ugly.’”
Chappelle surmised he wasn’t invited because he gives off “snitch energy.”
The comedian also tackled Trump, but before he got to the incoming president, he took a beat to memorialize Jimmy Carter with a story from when he quit “Chappelle’s Show” and went to the Middle East.
“While I was there, Jimmy Carter flew to Israel. So everybody in the region was talking about a former American president being in the Middle East. And while he was in Israel, a book of his was released, and the title was very controversial in Israel, the title of the book was ‘Palestine: Peace, Not Apartheid.’ People were very mad in Israel. There was a lot of mean stories that came out in the paper, but some people were supportive. And while he was there, Jimmy Carter said, ‘I want to go to the Palestinian territory,’ and the Israeli government said ‘It’s too dangerous, and if you go, we cannot protect you.’ And man, Jimmy Carter went anyway. I will never forget the images of a former American president walking with little to no security, while thousands of Palestinians would cheer. When I saw that picture, it brought tears to my eyes. I said, I don’t know if that’s a good president, but that right there, I am sure, is a great man.”
Chappelle closed his monologue by directly addressing Trump – “because I know you watch the show,” he said.
“Presidency is no place for petty people,” he began. “So Donald Trump, remember whether people voted for you or not, they’re all counting on you. Whether they like you or not, they’re all counting on you. The whole world is counting on you. I mean this when I say this, good luck. Please do better next time. Please, all of us, do better next time. Do not forget your humanity and please have empathy for displaced people, whether they’re in the Palisades or Palestine.”