“Saturday Night Live” took aim at Jim Jordan’s (Mikey Day) failed bid for speaker of the House, with the Republican being consoled by George Santos (Bowen Yang), Lauren Boebert (Chloe Fineman) and Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson).
“How did I lose? This is chaos,” Day’s Jordan says. “Some of us are here to actually serve the American people. All I want to do is get Congress back to work so I can shut it down again.”
Moments later, he’s visited by Santos, who has come to cheer him up with a baby in hand.
“I just wanted to say how sorry I am. But I want you to know I voted for you and get this, so did Shawna Loggins,” Yang as Santos said.
“Who’s that?,” Day replies, to which Santos responded: “Also me.”
Day’s Jordan says he’s not ready to give up and asks Yang’s Santos if he should try one more time, to which he replies: “A guy would be lying if I said yes. So, yes.”
As Jordan ushers Santos out, the latter receives a call from Tupac, to which he says: “Girl, I know Jada is crazy” before leaving.
A confused Jordan then receives a call from Republican congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Fineman), who encourages him to keep trying.
“Things aren’t going exactly as planned. Just keep running for speaker and even if you don’t win, great, the government shuts down and we blow this whole thing up,” she says, before getting grabbed by a hand.
“Sorry, are you out somewhere?,” Jordan asks.
“I gotta go,” Boebert replies. “I’m at the theater seeing Aladdin.”
Moments after hanging up, the defeated Jordan is visited by Donald Trump, who says, “Is this the loser’s office?”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jordan responds. “You endorsed me and then you just kind of disappeared.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because I prefer the Jordans who win, okay? The great Michael Jordan or the even greater Jordan Sparks. ‘No Air,’ remember that? Now that was a good song. Tell me how am I supposed to breathe with no air. You can’t, you can’t do it,” Trump said. “But Jim, I still like you. Not like-like, it’s more like not like, OK? Like, I don’t like you at all.
“Part of it’s the lack of the jacket,” he adds. “It’s the lack of the jacket, you don’t look good. You look like the night manager at a two-star steakhouse.”
“I understand sir, I’ve been told that before,” Jordan says.
Trump then says that “people are saying that I would make a great speaker,” but he admits that he’s too busy “campaigning, traveling from city to city visiting their beautiful courtrooms.”
Jordan expresses frustration and questions why intimidation tactics didn’t work.
“Frankly, you’re not me, OK? You’re not fun. I’m hilarious,” Trump responds. “So I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo. What the hell is he doing here? They don’t play ‘Creep’ live anymore. Do you notice that? Everybody else does it, but they don’t do it. But your little Jim Jordan, I’m Donald Trump, OK. I’m coke, your Shasta.”
“But you endorsed me and I still lost,” Jordan says.
“Seems to happen a lot. It’s happening a lot, but that’s OK,” Trump replies. “You can’t give up, all right, you can’t give up because this is America. It’s the most beautiful country in the world filled with some terrible people, some awful people. Some of the worst people you’ve ever seen, but we love it. What a beautiful nation it is. What a wonderful nation. Not so much in terms of the people, their people are very bad and weird. We love our country. What an awful place it is.”
Jordan then asks if Trump thinks he can win, to which he responds “I couldn’t care less.”
Before Day can say the tag, he’s cut off by Johnson who concludes: “That’s not for losers. Live from New York its Saturday Night!”
Watch the full cold open in the video above.
