“Well, Donald Trump has won the 2024 election and he’ll be president again for four more years, or eight, or 12, or whatever,” a dejected Seth Meyers said Wednesday during his latest “A Closer Look.”
“We live in an infinite time warp where Donald Trump has always been and will always be the center of the universe. There can be no escape. All hail our powerful and benevolent supreme leader.”
“Windmills do cause cancer. Hannibal Lecter was a lovely man. And if I’m lying, then Arnold Palmer doesn’t have the biggest dick in the clubhouse. F– me,” Meyers added, referencing several of the weirder recent Trump stories that somehow didn’t harm his election chances.
Following comments on Trump’s remarks after winning, Meyers turned his attention to the ramifications of the win, starting with potential cabinet picks.
“If RFK Jr. becomes becomes the health secretary, does that mean his brain worm will become assistant secretary? Oh, will the worm give press conferences? Tiny little podium on the top RFK’s head?” Meyers asked.
From here Meyers laid into Trump’s posse of billionaire supporters like Elon Musk, who project an image of what he described as “just edgelord podcasters” but in reality are “oligarchs.
Musk, who Meyers reminded viewers is the richest man alive, “contracts with the Pentagon,” and also “owns one of the largest social media platforms.” And he joined forces with Trump, Meyers continued, “a billionaire who will soon be the most powerful man in the world for a second time, to consolidate their power over society and the economy. They’re not your bros. They’re not gonna come over to your house and smoke weed and play Diablo with you.”
You can watch the full post-election “A Closer Look” below:
Meyers also addressed the situation in his monologue earlier in the show.
“I’d even go so far as to say [Trump is] a bad person. Now, in my defense, I’m only basing that on everything I’ve ever been taught about what makes someone good or bad,” he said.
Meyers also compared election night to Christmas eve. “if you know, on Christmas morning, you’re either going to wake up to find that Santa left presents under the tree or just took a huge dump in your fireplace. If you’re lactose intolerant, don’t drink the milk, you know?”