Nikki Glaser revealed a number of jokes that got cut from Netflix’s Tom Brady Roast on “The Pat McAfee Show” on Thursday, including digs at the football legend’s looks, intelligence and personality.
Before launching into the list of cut jokes about the athlete, Glaser asked, “What’s the language restriction here? Am I OK to let it fly?” So maybe don’t play the video embedded above at work.
Glaser rattled off cut material that included the following:
1. “In talking about Tom Brady to all my friends in doing research for this event, I learned that so many people want to suck Tom Brady’s d–k, and a couple of them are women.”
2. “What do Tom Brady and a SpongeBob have in common? Eli Manning owns them both.”
3. “Brady, you lost to a guy who makes Gronk feel cultured. CTE gets diagnosed with Eli Manning.”
That joke drew the biggest response from the show’s host, impressed by the edgy joke about Eli Manning and concussions. McAfee noted that there were a lot of jokes at the roast about Manning.
4. “I feel like we didn’t like really get into that enough about how crazy Tom Brady looks right now. But you know, like I wanted to put a knife through him to make sure he wasn’t cake.”
5. “I was going to call him out on being just an anorexic Adonis. I was going to say “Hey, you gonna eat something tonight? You know like, it’s a cheat day. I brought some p—-y if you want any. I put some blueberries in it before the night began, just to fit your weird diet, but then I looked at Jeff Ross and they dried up, so I don’t know if you’d be into that.”
6. “Tom, will you stop getting work done? Unless scientists figure out a personality transplant.”
7. “You look like that movie poster for ‘Smile.’ You look like you c–m coconut water. You look like a cyclops with two eyes.”
She may have had more jokes ready to go, but that’s where McAfee cut her off before diving into the process of how Glaser developed her set and practiced the jokes at shows around town. Glaser also shared more about what information leaked to those on the dais ahead of the show, as well as whether they were told what may have been off-limits.
You can watch the full interview with Nikki Glaser from “The Pat McAfee Show” in the video at the top of this page.
“The Roast of Tom Brady” is now streaming on Netflix.
