Nikki Glaser hosted the Golden Globes — or, as she joked, “Ozempic’s biggest night” — on Sunday, and as always, the comedian pulled no punches. From roasting the streamers to the nominees to even Sean “Diddy” Combs, Glaser targeted just about everyone in the room.
Yes, Glaser made a direct Diddy joke. It came as she was praising Zendaya for her performance in “Challengers,” and applauding the film itself.
“That movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card,” Glaser joked, earning a surprised reaction from the crowd. “I mean, seriously. Oh no, no, I know, I’m sorry, I’m upset too, the afterparty’s not going to be as good this year, but we have to move on!”
Granted, Glaser warmed up to that joke, rather than starting with it. To actually kick things off, the comedian celebrated everything the actors in the room were able to accomplish in 2024 — “except tell the country who to vote for.” She wasn’t too worried though, joking that celebrity endorsements will work in the next election, “if there is one.”
Donald Trump wasn’t the only political figure Glaser subtly took aim at, either. In fact, the next jab wasn’t subtle. As she joked that the Globes “celebrate the best of film and hold space for television” — poking fun at a viral phrase used during the “Wicked” press tour — Glaser called out a Trump cabinet member, too.
“‘The Bear’, ‘The Penguin’, ‘Baby Reindeer’ — these are not just things found in RFK’s freezer. These are TV shows nominated tonight!” she said.
Of course, Glaser took plenty of aim at people who were actually in attendance, as well. Among them was Timothée Chalamet, who Glaser joked has a last name that sounds like a sound effect that Adam Sandler would make. After getting Sandler to do just that, Glaser also poked fun to Chalamet’s literal face.
“You have the most gorgeous eyelashes on your upper lip,” she joked.
Eventually, Glaser turned her attention to “Wicked,” making fun of the complaints some had about that film, from the color grading to the performances and more. As she wailed on it, Glaser took a moment to pivot.
“I’m sorry ‘Joker 2,’ where’s their table? Oh they’re not here. That’s right,” she sniped.
In the end though, Glaser offered encouragement to anyone who wouldn’t be taking home an award during the night.
“The point of making art is to make a tequila brand so popular, that you never have to make art again,” she joked.
You can watch Glaser’s full monologue in the video above.
