It was only a matter of time before Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels were given their own celebrity couple nickname, and Stephen Colbert has a good one.
“What we did get [during Daniels’ testimony] was a thorough retelling of their one night of passionate sexing when Trump and Stormy became the celebrity couple, Stumpy,” Colbert said on Tuesday night. “I’m sorry, I forgot. Not supposed to describe his genitalia.”
That later aside was in reference to a guideline about Daniels’ testimony. While the adult film star was permitted to talk about having sex with the former President and what the experience was like, a prosecutor said Daniels would not reveal “descriptions of genitalia or anything,” which Judge Juan Merchan permitted.
When Colbert brought up the ruling, he loudly booed, causing his audience to laugh. “Stumpy” wasn’t Colbert’s only joke about Trump’s junk. During his opening monologue, the late night host also said “We want to hear about his itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, those aren’t polka dots linguini” and called his genitalia “a leather-looking toiletry bag.”
The CBS late night host also mocked Trump for his Truth Social post expressing surprise that Daniels would be testifying. “This is unprecedented, no time for lawyers to prepare,” Trump wrote in the post.
“Wait a second, did you just say no time to prepare? It did not occur to you and your lawyers that the Stormy Daniels hush money trial might involve an appearance by Stormy Daniels?” Colbert said. “That’s like a cook at Burger King saying, ‘Oh my god, someone ordered a Whooper. What do we do?’”
During her testimony, Daniels said that she spanked Trump “on the butt” with a rolled-up magazine and that she found him to be rude. The adult film star also said she asked about Trump’s wife and that he said he and Melania weren’t sleeping in the same room. When Daniels gave that bit of testimony, Trump was seen in court shaking his head and muttering “bulls–t” to his lawyers.
Though she has already faced five hours of questioning, Daniels is expected to return to the stand Thursday to undergo additional cross-examination from Trump’s lawyers.
