Another Black Friday has come and gone. With all the savings and Yuletide deals, there were also violent outbreaks.
On Monday’s edition of “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart took viewers through the carnage that ensued at America’s big box stores. Stabbings, taser firings and fist fights over toys formed a bloody tableau that perfectly illustrated the Christmas Spirit.
“There’s something about the holidays,” Stewart noted. “Reminds us how we like to gather with our loved ones around the crackle of a stun gun.”
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Fisticuffs and sharp objects weren’t the only thing providing clip reels of excitement last week. There was also labor unrest, as a man dressed as Santa Claus was arrested outside of a California Walmart for protesting the chain’s wages and working hours.
“How bad does your organization have to be for Santa to be protesting your labor conditions?” Stewart asked. “The man runs an elf sweat shop. He’s got ’em working all hours. He’s paying ’em in candy canes. God forbid you don’t want to make toys anymore, you want to be a dentist.”
That wasn’t the only issue bedeviling Walmart, which claimed it had the most successful Black Friday ever despite the fact that its website crashed. That technical hiccup left Stewart reaching for parallels to the recent Healthcare.gov fiasco.
“So if a website crashes trying to give people healthcare it’s a national travesty, but if Walmart’s website crashes while their stores fill with people disemboweling each other to get ‘Skyfall’ on Blu-ray…,” Stewart added while blowing an air kiss to signal perfection.
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