John Oliver devoted a large segment of Sunday’s “Last Week Tonight” to dissecting the very intricate rules that govern student athletes in the National Collegiate Athletic Association.
Oliver pointed out that student athletes are required to sign contracts foregoing any compensation for their athletic performance, as well as binding them to abide by every rule in the 440-page NCAA Divison I manual.
“The only other thing that would have that many finicky little rules is a sex party at Wes Anderson’s house,” Oliver said.
Despite the NCAA’s claim that very few schools actually profit from their athletic teams, Oliver noted that many schools simply spend all the money they make on salaries and facilities to appear as though they are not profiting.
Many top college coaches not only make millions of dollars from their coaching salaries, but they are also eligible for endorsement deals that would land a student in hot water.
“Now before you get too shocked, remember that America has a long proud history of paying aging white men unconscionable amounts of money for screaming at people,” Oliver said.
Oliver zeroed in on Clemson football coach Dabo Swinney, who makes $3 million annually, and once said players should not be paid “because there’s too much entitlement in this world as it is.”
Oliver decided to take Swinney down a peg by pointing out that his name is an anagram for Soybean Wind and encouraged his audience to begin using the hashtag #SoybeanWind in an effort to annoy Swinney.
Oliver closed out the segment by introducing a new video game that promises to replicate the entire student athlete experience:”March Sadness 2015.”
In the game, players can not only play as student athletes on the court, but also enjoy being harassed by coaches and having their scholarships revoked if injured.