Like a lot of people, Jimmy Kimmel wasn’t particularly sad on Thursday about the death of OJ Simpson. And during his monologue, after declaring that the former football star acquitted of murdering his ex wife “went to Hell,” Kimmel joked “Turns out, not much different than Florida.
“It’s rare that a celebrity as famous as OJ was doesn’t get an outpouring of love after news of his death, Kimmel continued. “But it makes sense. This was from his old friend, former very good friend. Caitlyn Jenner tweeted: ‘Good Riddance #OJSimpson.’”
“Bruce Jenner loved OJ. Caitlyn, not a fan,” Kimmel added. “Very tough week for LA. First, we lost the 99 Cents store and now this.”
After this, Kimmel talked a bit about Donald Trump’s failed attempt to delay his trial over the hush money he paid Stormy Daniels.
“He does this in every trial to gum up the mechanism,” Kimmel explained. “He keeps challenging and challenging and it works. All his trials are behind schedule, and most now won’t likely happen until after the election, if at all.”
“Which, I don’t know, seems like quite a lot of due process for a witch hunt to me,” Kimmel joked. “It’s like, ‘We can’t burn this witch yet! Her attorneys are saying the water we used to see if she floats wasn’t distilled!’”
“But you know what they say, if at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, or tenth you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.” Kimmel joked before playing a clip of Trump whining and accusing Joe Biden (falsely) of persecuting him.
“Right. Biden simultaneously can’t do anything, and is a ruthlessly calculating criminal mastermind. It makes total sense. By the end of the week, he’ll be saying Joe Biden’s the one who had sex with Stormy Daniels not him,” Kimmel added.
There’s more, and you can watch the full monologue at the top of the page now.