Jimmy Kimmel had some frank advice for Donald Trump’s potential running mates during his Thursday monologue: Don’t.
“Destroying people like you,” Kimmel said — referring to pretty much anyone who chooses to work with the disgraced ex-president — “is, it’s the only thing Donald Trump is good at.”
Watch the whole monologue at the top of the page now.
“Trump is now looking for a running mate to join him,” Kimmel said as he got to the topic in his monologue. “They say he’s now considering 15 candidates, with the idea that these people will audition at his rallies and campaign events.”
“Really. He’s turning this into ‘The MAGA-pprentice,’” Kimmel joked. “The finalists for VP include Elise Stefanik, Tim Scott, Tulsi Gabbard and Dr. Ben Carson, even though Dr. Ben Carson died six years ago. Ben Carson is literally a sleeper candidate.”
Kimmel was referring to Carson’s history of falling asleep, along with being too dull to win support as a presidential candidate.
“Can you imagine Vice President Carson sitting behind Trump at the State of the Union with his head,” Kimmel said, miming sleep. “This is a guy who falls asleep standing up.”
“Trump also considering Florida Sen. Marco Rubio as his campaign partner,” Kimmel said, before noting how awkward this would be due to how many times Trump has insulted Rubio.
“Quite a team! David vs. Go-liar,” Kimmel quipped. “But now, Rubio says it would be an honor for anyone to be offered the VP slot.”
Kimmel suggested to the audience that this is actually pathetic, and this brought him to his advice.
“[Rubio] thinks he’s different. He’s thinking, ‘I’m the one who’s going to ride this bull!’ No, no — you will wind up in the mud with all the other rodeo clowns.”
“Think about all the people who thought they could domesticate Donald Trump — Chris Christie, Mitt Romney, Jeff Sessions, Kevin McCarthy, Rudy Giuliani, Ted Cruz, Ron DeSantis, Mike Pence, all his wives. I mean, you think this won’t be you too?”
“Destroying people like you,” Kimmel said, addressing Rubio directly, “is, it’s the only thing Donald Trump is good at.”
“If he asks you to run? Run! Get those little legs moving like a toddler going into a Chuck E. Cheese,” Kimmel said.
You can watch the full monologue from Jimmy Kimmel at the top of this page.