It’s been almost two weeks since disgraced former President Donald Trump claimed the New York District Attorney was going to arrest him — and yep, that still hasn’t happened. And on Wednesday Jimmy Kimmel seemed a bit impatient with the whole thing, pointing out during his monologue that the grand jury investigating Trump is now taking a frustrating two-week hiatus.
Or, as Kimmel put it, the jury is “leaving us hanging like Trump tried to do with Mike Pence.”
“Some experts believe that it’s possible the Grand Jury may already have voted to indict Donald Trump, but that the Manhattan DA is slow-walking it to give them time to make preparations for his arrest,” Kimmel continued. “”Whereas others are saying it’s possible, and this is pretty crazy, that Donald Trump died two years ago, and we’re all being haunted by his ghost.”
Since Trump first made the claim that he’d soon be arrested, the Manhattan DA received death threats and security measures were put in place. And Kimmel mused that with grand jury going on a hiatus, Trump is kissing up, hoping to sway their decision.
“This morning, ‘The Star-Spangled Tanner,’ who has been railing against the DA in New York posted this. He said, ‘I have gained such respect for this grand jury and perhaps even the grand jury system as a whole,’” Kimmel said, quoting from Trump’s post. “Oh, he respects grand juries.”
Kimmel continued quoting Trump: “’The grand jury is saying, hold on, we are not a rubber stamp, which most grand juries are branded as being. We are not going to vote against a preponderance of evidence or against large numbers of legal scholars all saying there is no case here. Drop this sick witch hunt, now!’”
“If that isn’t the saddest damn thing I have ever read,” Kimmel continued. “The great and powerful Donald Trump, weakly kissing the all-caps asses of people he will never meet, in a last-ditch hope he might somehow flatter them just enough to let him off the hook.”
“I haven’t seen anything this pathetic since he asked Stormy to spank him with a Forbes magazine. It is just sad with an exclamation point at the end of it,” Kimmel added
For those curious, the hiatus was, apparently, planned due to upcoming religious holidays. Which means Trump wouldn’t be at risk of arrest — assuming that ever happens of course — until late April.
Watch the whole monologue above.