Like everyone else, Jimmy Kimmel told some jokes Wednesday about the new Republican speaker of the House of Representatives. But while making fun of that whole thing, what Kimmel found hard to understand is the absolute deference to and fear of Donald Trump displayed by the various candidates for that job.
Not only because of how pathetic it looks, but also because, Kimmel is certain, Trump will soon be in prison. “He’s not El Chapo, OK?” Kimmel quipped.
On Wednesday, after weeks of dysfunction, the Republicans in Congress finally picked a speaker — Louisiana Rep. Mike Johnson, a right-wing extremist known for having exceptionally theocratic views who also tried to assist Trump in his efforts to overthrow the government after the 2020 election.
“I guess Jan. 6 is all water under the bridge,” Kimmel said. “They tried to hang Mike Pence on that day. Because these Republicans, you almost feel for them because they had to bend over backwards to find someone who wouldn’t get kneecapped by Donald Trump at the last minute.”
Kimmel then noted how Trump, as he has frequently done, humiliated one of his biggest toadies when he posted to Truth Social, a series of texts sent to him by Tennessee Rep. Chuck Fleischman. Fleischman was briefly a candidate for speaker, and in his texts, he begged for Trump’s support, saying among other things, “I preached Trump in my speech.”
“Imagine that these guys still have to kiss his ass,” Kimmel scoffed. “Donald Trump — not only is he not president anymore, he’s basically sitting on the stoop outside prison waiting to be escorted in.”
“And not just one prison,” Kimmel continued. “He is this close to being in an orange jumpsuit with cuffs on his little wrist and these sad, scared little ducklings in Congress are all trembling with fear like a collection of humble figurines on your mom’s shelf at the beginning of an earthquake. They’re just like, hoping he approves, groveling for his blessing, begging a man who is going to be eating his meals off a tray in the cafeteria of a penitentiary every day for the rest of his stupid life, to ‘please like me, please your MAGAsty. Pick me.’”
“I have news for you people: He’s not El Chapo. OK? When he goes away, you’re all still going to be there and my god, are you going to be ashamed of yourself. Hopefully half as embarrassed for yourselves as we are for you right now,” Kimmel declared.
After this, the host talked about the train wreck of a trial day Trump had in New York where, among other things, he stormed out of his fraud trial, then violated the judge’s gag order and was fined $10,000.
You can watch that and the rest of the monologue at the top of the page now.
