In the Season 3 premiere of “Black-ish,” appropriately titled “VIP,” the Johnson family went big — like VIP Disney World big.
Andre (Anthony Anderson), Bo (Tracee Ellis Ross) and the rest of the family take a vacation to the Orlando resort, where dad wants to give his kids the first-class experience he never had. Things escalate quickly as Andre and the kids enjoy the theme park with a slight air of entitlement. For instance, at multiple points throughout the episode, he tells their VIP tour guide “I bought you.”
But is it even possible to “buy” a Disney tour guide for seven hours? Yes. Yes, it is.
Let us introduce you to Disney’s Premium VIP Tours. The customized seven-hour-minimum experience includes “unparalleled hospitality,” pick-up in a private vehicle from your hotel and delivery to the park of your choice. It also lets guests enjoy attractions “efficiently and repeatedly,” as well as VIP seating to parades and the like.
And it costs almost half an American’s average annual income for a family of eight like the Johnsons.
The tours are priced between $400 and $600 an hour depending on what time of year you decide to visit. Given the minimum, a single tour for up to eight people ranges between $2,800 and $4,200 — and doesn’t include admission tickets.
Which by the way add up to a total of $2,280 for a three-day, one-park-a-day ticket for six adults and two kids.
We have no idea exactly where the Johnsons live, so we calculated the fare for a limo ride from TheWrap’s offices to LAX — about eight miles — and got a quote of $275.
First-class tickets for four days from Los Angeles, California to Orlando, Florida cost approximately $1,000. Each. For the eight members of the Johnson family, that would net out to a total of $8,000.
A one-night stay at Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge costs around $550. Per room. By our handy-dandy calculations, four rooms for four days total a whopping $8,800. Before taxes.
That brings the Johnson family vacation to a total cost to Andre of $22,155.
This all of course doesn’t include taxes, food or souvenirs, nor the round of drinks “Pops” bought everyone at the bar.
*All prices are estimates.