As Donald Trump’s Manhattan trial started this week, Jon Stewart was ready with jokes. The comedian took to “The Daily Show” Monday night to riff on a New York Times report that said Trump appeared to be dozing off during his first day in court.
“Imagine committing so many crimes you get bored at your own trial? Move onto the good stuff!” Stewart said.
The report came from Maggie Haberman, who went on CNN to discuss her article. When CNN host Jake Tapper asked her what she meant by her article, “A Weary Trump Appears to Doze Off in Courtroom Ahead of Criminal Trial,” Haberman stoically shot back, “Well, Jake, he appeared to be asleep.”
Stewart had some jokes for that, too.
“Hey Jake, what part of head down, eyes closed, drool coming out his mouth do you not f–king get over here?” Stewart said, donning a New Jersey accent. “He’s snoring. He’s doing the honk-shoo. He’s doing the mi-mi-mi-mi.”
The late night host also went after Trump for his post-trial remarks. In a press conference, the former President said, “This is a case that should have never been brought. It’s an assault on America, and that’s why I’m very proud to be here.”
“Well, it’s true. Trump is always very proud to be part of any assault on America,” Stewart quipped, earning a round of applause from the audience. He then set up a segment with “Daily Show” correspondents Ronny Chieng and Dessi Lydic who argued over which persecuted figure is Trump most like: Nelson Mandela or Jesus Christ? Watch the full clip above.
Trump is currently in the middle of his criminal trial in Manhattan over alleged hush money payments and falsified documents. The prosecution alleges that Trump falsified business records so that he could pay off adult film star Stormy Daniels ahead of the 2016 election.
Though Stewart devoted the back half of his opening monologue to Trump, most of Monday night’s show had to do with the Middle East. After some hand-wringing over whether or not we’re in the middle of World War III following Iran’s missile attack over the weekend, Stewart asked to have “a word” with the Middle East.
“Listen, I hope this doesn’t sound patronizing, but when we in the West drew your nations’ borders and set you up with perfectly functioning dictatorships, we expected a little better. See, the agreement was we would make up a whole new bunch of countries, some of which made sense, and in return you would give us your delicious oil,” Stewart said. “We certainly didn’t expect to be drawn into all the drama that our actions created.”
Stewart ended his rant by stating the United States “artificially gerrymandered your homeland” and asking the region to “do better.”
“Keep that oil coming,” Stewart added.
Watch Monday’s full “Daily Show” segment in the video above.
