During the opening segment of “The Daily Show” Monday night, host Trevor Noah took aim squarely at Donald Trump’s comment earlier in the day about how he thinks he would have responded to the school shooting in Parkland, Florida earlier this month had he been there.
“I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon,” Trump said at the White House Monday morning. Trump caught flack from all over for that quote all day, so naturally “The Daily Show” went there too.
“I like that he’s honest enough to say, ‘Look, I haven’t tested this, but I think, ah, I think I would run in. Without a weapon, yeah, yeah,’” Noah said.
“To be fair, if Donald Trump ran into a school during a shooting, I do believe he would actually stop the shooting,” Noah continued. “Because imagine you’re a school shooter and Donald Trump appears in the hallway. How distracting would that be.”
Noah then did an impression of Trump attempting to quell the shooter by bragging about his Electoral College win in the 2016 presidential election.
“It’d just be like, ‘That’s right, it’s me, Donald Trump! I don’t have a gun but what I do have is an amazing Electoral College victory. They said I couldn’t win. 736 college — I did it. I did it so good.’ Like eight minutes later the police show up, Trump is still talking, the kid is like ‘what the hell is happening here?!’ It would work!”
From there Noah got serious about the idea that Trump might actually run into a school try to stop a shooting in progress without a weapon: “It would be ridiculous coming from anyone, but especially from Trump. He’s gonna run in?” Noah said while pointing at an image of Trump superimposed next to him.
“Yo, when Trump ran for president that was the first time he ran in his entire life! Com on, man. You’re telling me this guy,” Noah said while pointing to that old viral video of Trump flinching hard when a bald eagle pecked at him, “is brave enough to run into a school shooting? This guy? Really? The same guy who clung to a Secret Service agent like he was the last life vest on the Titanic? That guy? That guy? Really, Trump cares so much about helping people that he’d jump into the middle of a school shooting with nothing but his fun-sized fists? Really? That guy?”
Noah’s capper to this whole thread was to bring up the audio from an old Trump interview with Howard Stern where he described an old man falling on his face at Mar-a-Lago and getting blood all over the marble floors — a sight that Trump said he found so gross he couldn’t look at it.
“Really? That guy? That guy was gonna run in and stop a school shooting? Get the f— out of here man,” Noah said.
You can watch the opening segment embedded above.