To many of those who have gone through end-of-life decisions after a cancer diagnosis, the disease itself tends to be no laughing matter. It has the ability to destroy families, knock down the strongest of humans and alter one’s trajectory permanently. But for the lucky few, like poet laureate Andrea Gibson, cancer can be a struggle but it can also shed light on the true meaning of what it takes to keep a life well-lived going.
Gibson was diagnosed with ovarian cancer several years ago, but that’s not the end of the story. Identifying with they/them pronouns, the now 49-year-old has made their mark on society as a poet who tours the country, spouting frustrations with confident tones. Very fitting, their life after the diagnosis and their relationship with wife and fellow poet Megan Falley is detailed with great humor and humility in director Ryan White’s magnificent “Come See Me in the Good Light.”
The words “Good Light” hang above the couple’s bed in their Colorado home in bright neon lights, practically signifying the strength and visibility that’s manifested throughout their gorgeously intricate home. The two go offer great descriptions of their courtship amongst the small-knit poetry community, ex-lovers who have become best friends, Megan’s support of her wife’s touring career, Megan’s own writing becoming a forefront of support, and how cancer has affected their daily interactions.
Andrea’s cancer is aggressive, putting them through several rounds of chemotherapy and surgeries with little progress. The couple lives in three-week segments as Andrea tests her blood that frequently to discern if the cancer has spread. Often, it has — and even in these moments where many others would lose all hope in a similar situation, Andrea and Megan’s mentality remains strong.
“Come See Me in the Good Light” is a tender expression of love conquering all despite the burden of needing to go against the wind. As he accomplished previously with the stellar “Good Night Oppy,” White excels at presenting his subjects with warmth and humor even in times of despair. Humor, in fact, is at the center of this documentary, which unfolds with radiance. Though it is a difficult concept for a movie (and life), Andrea and Megan’s tale is told with great care.
The theme of Andrea’s experience with cancer, as they explain poetically and in great detail, is goosebumps. That is exactly what it feels like to watch their transitions throughout the film, as the many ups and downs of working through the seemingly incurable disease are on full display for the audience to go through with them. Equally powerful, and also hysterical beyond beliefm, is Andrea’s fascination with fixing their mailbox after a snow plow hits it most winter mornings; it’s a running gag throughout the film that never ceases to bring the laughs.
It is in these moments, along with time spent with friends recounting the many voicemails Andrea leaves for them in the event of their untimely death, that the movie is made whole. Yes, there are sequences that reflect Andrea’s struggles and heartbreak when they receive dire news. But equally, there are scenes that demonstrate the resilience it takes to overcome that news with defiance. They are not a person meant to be pitied, and their story is an important one to share with the world.
White has brought a beautifully crafted and respectful documentary to the Sundance Film Festival, complete with an original song co-written by Gibson and executive producers Brandi Carlile and Sara Bareilles. “Salt Then Sour Then Sweet,” performed by Bareilles, is not just a song slapped together to place above the end credits. Rather, it’s an extension of Gibson’s experience and the love they have for their wife and their continued existence.
An existence worth fighting for.