Monday’s episode of “The Late Show” was the first of 2022, and Stephen Colbert kicked it off with a cold open joke inspired by some crazy news about Donald Trump that broke in late 2021.
In November, it was reported that it took Trump several takes to shoot the video on Jan. 6, 2021 urging his followers to stand down from a violent overthrow of the government to reverse the 2020 election. Many people have commented that if the video was the sixth take, the first five must have been something.
And on Monday’s “The Late Show,” Colbert imagined that they were pretty terrible.
As always, the gag began with clips of TV news explaining the context. Then came the fictional outtakes, which consisted of Trump audio clips reedited to sound, well, bad, as an exasperated director tries to get him on script. Here’s the dialogue:
Director: If you’re ready, Mr. President, action.
Trump: They’re heroes. I’m so proud of the QAnon Viking… I’m having a lot of fun today.
Director: Cut. OK, love the energy. Could we try one where you say something negative?
Trump: I don’t like mosquitos!
Director: OK, I meant something negative about the violent protesters?
Trump: My favorite people in the world.
Director: OK, let’s try a different approach. Watch the live coverage on the television. It’s chaos, broken windows, bloodied capitol police, congresspeople huddled in a basement trying to stay alive. Honest reaction: Go!
Trump: This is the greatest television show ever.
Director: Sir, they want to hang your vice president.
Trump: If you see Vice President Mike Pence, punch him in the face.
Director: Ok, why don’t we forget about the insurrectionists and focus on saying something uplifting to the American people on this dark and terrifying day?
Trump: Bing bong bing bing.
You get the idea. Watch the clip below now: