Bill Maher hit the hot topic of the day discussing the release of Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” in his Friday night “Real Time” monologue on HBO and Max. With both the new album and the hush trial for former President Donald Trump, Maher said that this week’s news had something for everyone.
“Something for the Swifties, and something for the not-so-Swiftie,” Maher quipped.
Continuing his Swift run, he noted that everybody loves it (though some critics — and music listeners more broadly — would beg to differ). “Everybody loves it, the tweens love it, the teens love it, the millenials love it.”
Then Maher shared a former White House resident he joked loved the album: “Dick Cheney said, ‘You had me at ‘Tortured.’” After his two terms as George W. Bush’s vice president from 2001-2009, Cheney has stuck by his (metaphorical) guns and both said “I would do it again” when it comes to torture, as well as suggesting in 2018 that the U.S. government should restart its torture program.
Turning to the Trump trial, Maher said that the problem for the former president was that he had to sit in court for hours without saying anything.
“Kind of like he did on January 6th,” Maher added in his rather factual punchline.
Discussing the widely noted fact that Trump has been spotted falling asleep in court, Maher said that Trump had denied it and claimed he was just resting his eyes.
“And he’s not drooling — his head is having a wet dream,” Maher joked of a potential Trump justification.
When he opened his monologue earlier, which was a strong one this week before a few stumbles near the end, the marijuana-loving Maher told the crowd that he thought he knew why they were happy.
“It’s a holiday tomorrow, 4/20. Right? Oh, geez — I’ve got to start my baking,” Maher joked. “I’m kidding, I started earlier.”
That may be accurate, given that Maher recently refused to skip smoking weed on just one episode of his “Club Random” podcast for a scheduled interview with Steve-O, which the “Jackass” stunt reality star had asked for out of respect for his 16 years of sobriety and desire to maintain that.
The “Real Time” crowd may have been on board with Maher’s interests, given the captivated “oohs” he drew from the crowd when he told them, “But this is a very special 4/20, because it’s 4/20/24, which is the same backwards and forwards.”
He added, “This only happens once every hundred years, like Arizona updating its abortion law,” joking about Arizona recently upholding an 1864 law limiting abortion in the state.
Despite Robert F. Kennedy Jr. being scheduled for an appearance on “Real Time” next week, Maher joked about his independent run for the presidency, mentioning that he was polling at 11.7%.
“Not nationally, just with his family,” Maher quipped, referencing numerous Kennedy family members coming out in force this week to oppose their fellow Kennedy and endorse President Joe Biden.
While they called for Kennedy to exit the race, Maher joked that he responded, “I’m a Kennedy, we don’t know the meaning of the word ‘pull out.’”
Other topics in Friday’s “Real Time” monologue included the ongoing protests against Israel’s war against Hamas in Gaza, as well as the military conflict between Israel and Iran, including one highly Los Angeles-centric joke. Westside-specific, even, referencing the Beverly Center.
You can watch the full monologue on HBO’s streaming platform Max. It airs Friday nights at 7 p.m.
