On the first new episode of “Real Time” since November — and just a week and a half after Donald Trump incited a deadly riot in the Capitol in a failed attempt to overturn the 2020 election — Bill Maher used the mid-show gag to celebrate Trump’s impending exit from the White House. And of course, to insult Trump one last time.
The means by which he did so was a parody of the Dr. Seuss classic “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” called “Pack Your S— and Go!”
“There’s no convincing Trump that he lost, but we thought we would try,” Maher said to set up the gag. “We thought we’d take one last shot at it, and we wrote a children’s book. It’s called ‘Pack Your Shit and Go.’ And we thought, it’s the last show while he’s president and I can s— on this guy. I’ve tried to be even-handed the whole time he was president, but it didn’t work out. But would you like to hear some of ‘Pack Your Shit and Go’?”
Then Maher got into it. Here is the full text of the gag:
All the votes have been counted, all the courts have said no. You’re all out of options, now pack your shit and go.
It’s clear that you’re angry, that you’re feeling quite low. That feeling’s called losing, so pack your shit and go.
Pick up a new hobby, like knitting or banjo. Call your favorite hooker, just pack your shit and go. Start a cable network, try talk radio. There’s an opening at Limbaugh, but you gotta pack your shit and go.
Cuz you treated your job like a reality show. Well, now it’s been canceled, so pack your shit and go.
And that’s it. If you’d like to see for yourself, just look at the top of this page where we’ve conveniently embedded the video. And remember: Just 5 more days until Joe Biden is sworn in.