Sunday’s broadcast of “Grease: Live” was a big hit for Fox, and further proof that live musical events can help networks considerably boost their same-day ratings (and generate social-media buzz). But programmers should beware: Not every musical is ripe for the live TV treatment. Read on for 11 disastrous ideas for small-screen adaptations.
“Jesus Christ Superstar”: Not unless you want the residents of the Bible Belt to have a collective conniption fit when they flip through the channels and see this on their television screens.
“Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”: This mess of a production was cursed enough during its stage run; no need to extend the carnage to television.
“Cats” : Not unless it was performed by an actual all-kitten cast, anyway.
“Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”: This one’s probably still a little too cutting-edge for mainstream television’s taste.
“Cannibal! The Musical”: Audiences would likely also find this one difficult to stomach.
“Team America: World Police”: Come for the AIDS song, stay for the projectile vomiting and graphic puppet sex? Yeah, probably not a good idea.
“Starlight Express”: It’s hard enough to get most people on board with musicals, let alone musicals performed on roller skates.
“Hair”: The group nudity would probably not go over well with the FCC.
“Springtime for Hitler”: Would this fictional would-be flop at the center of “The Producers” make the grade on network TV? Oh, heil, no.
“Song of the South”: Given the frequent cries of racism over this one, network executives should probably say “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Don’t” to taking this one on.
“Assassins”: In the current political climate, it’s probably best not to give people any ideas with this play about people who’ve targeted U.S. presidents for death.
