‘Apprentice 10’: Lots of Questions, but No Answers

So many mysteries this season, from editing to haircuts to “Ivanka’s giant rack”

Good god, this season takes place in Obviousville! The outcome of each task, all the things the contestants say and do and who inevitably is fired are all spelled out in the first few minutes of each episode. Despite the unsophisticated story boarding, I still have so many unanswered questions, such as:

Who is this Kelly person who suddenly makes a cameo in this episode, just to be fired?

Where the crap did Eric come from? And what’s up with Eric’s hair?

Why does Anand look so different in every scene?

Is Anand hot?

Why don’t the producers show us the men are giving away free food with their pedi-cab ride? If they are in fact giving away pizza, it’s a genius move.

Why is Mahsa dressed like Madonna circa 1984 "Like a Virgin"?

How is it possible that Mahsa is 29? She looks younger.

Why don’t the “Babes on Bikes” – or whatever – look like babes?

Why is Stephanie acting like she didn’t choose the location? Lame.

Why does this new Kelly person suck so bad?

Why is Brandy so smug all the time?

See question above and insert the name Steuart.

Why do I love Poppy this episode?

Why you all gotta be hatin’ on Liza?

Why do I miss James?

Why do I fear that I’ll cry when David is fired?

Why am I mesmerized by Ivanka?

NO SERIOUSLY, I CAN’T STOP STARING AT IVANKA’S GIANT RACK.

Why am I yelling?

Why do we already know David, Liza, Poppy and Mahsa will all be fired, probably in that order?

Why can’t David be on every TV show, for now and for all time?

Why doesn’t Trump have all our seasons compete against each other? Can you imagine season 2 destroying season 10? Not because they are smarter, but because they will cut you.

Who wants to have a drink?

Why am I still writing questions?

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