If last week’s results show taught us anything, it’s to expect the unexpected. While the elimination order seemed so obvious two weeks ago, the Bottom Three has kept us guessing lately by literally becoming a game of musical chairs. So, with a record-setting 55 million votes cast, which two Idols would be left chairless once the music stopped?
Would the results deliver on the show’s promise that “you won’t believe who is going home?”
We’d have to sift through small talk about Casey’s beard and James’ massive amounts of fan mail to find out. Easing the pain, though, were performances by the Idols, who got to sing in smaller groups, forgoing the cheesiness of their usual show choir routines.
Country kids Lauren and Scotty charmed us with a duet of the Randy Travis classic, “I Told You So,” which has also been covered by Miss Country Idol herself, Carrie Underwood. These two were great complements to one another; they are like a Kenny & Dolly for today’s tween!
Immediately following their number, Seacrest put them out of their misery. Safe and … safe.
Naima and Jacob were up next with “Solid” by Ashford & Simpson. The choreography was quite entertaining, especially for those of us who yearned for the usual cheesy show choir group number. Jacob’s energy is infectious and Naima sounds much better without all of her crazy distractions, though I was certain that there was a Tarantella or Punjabi folk dance around the corner.
When Seacrest laid out their fates, it wasn’t a huge surprise. Jacob was safe and Naima was in the Bottom Three yet again. Big risks may sometimes pay off, but they can also turn off the audience.
Season 3 winner Fantasia stopped by to perform “Collard Greens & Cornbread.” She seemed to be aiming for the glamour of Billie Holiday but thanks to a red sequined dress with a scandalous slit, it translated as Jessica Rabbit on helium. (I swear I could see her uterus!) Wardrobe aside, she won me over by cooing, “Steven … I love you” at the end of her song and giving heartfelt advice to the Idols about keeping the music first.
Haley, Thia and Pia formed the most random group of the night singing Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” Haley started off by yelling her solo but Pia saved the day when she took over with her golden voice. The three-way harmonies were almost as good as The Warblers’ version on “Glee” but wait … what was up with Thia getting relegated to back-up duty? I found it very distasteful that they didn’t give her a moment to shine on her own.
Pia was sent to safety right away. Thanks to what Randy deemed the best performance of the week, Haley was also spared. Thia, on the other hand, landed in the Bottom Three for the second week in a row. Her performance on Wednesday made me a little misty-eyed; however, after weeks of seeing a detached ice princess, it was too little, too late.
Next up was the mansion’s makeshift band, a group comprised of all my favorite “Idol” men. (And Stefano.) Paul, Casey and James played guitar while Stefano accompanied them on keyboard to “Band on the Run.” Surprisingly, this “band” wasn’t very good. But they clearly don’t have time for practice; they are on the run.
Seacrest addressed the fate of Casey first. After last week’s Judges‘ Save, he was dealing with survivor’s guilt and even had to be escorted backstage by the set doctor. Was the Save all in vain?
Apparently not.
Seacrest reassured Casey that if he knew how many of those 55 million votes he had received, he’d be proud. James was handed his fate swiftly: safe. That left either Stefano or Paul to round out the Bottom Three. It seemed like an obvious answer. After all, Stefano was a Wild Card pick who has already been in the Bottom Three. But what about that teaser at the top of the show that promised an “Idol Shocker?
Shocker, indeed. Dreamy Paul landed in the Bottom Three for the first time.
As we waited in agony for the final results, Jamie Foxx and will.i.am performed “Hot Wings” from the upcoming movie “Rio.” Their vocals were upstaged by the huge production behind them, complete with choreography and camera angles worthy of an Esther Williams movie. While it didn’t make me want to buy the song on iTunes, it did pique my interest in Carnival, or at least playing the new “Angry Birds Rio.”
This one was a nailbiter but when it came down to it, the teaser didn’t deliver on its promise. I could believe who was going home — the two ladies who had been skating by for weeks. As we say goodbye to Thia and Naima, let’s keep in mind that they both have bright futures ahead of them, either in pageants or performing multicultural dances at EPCOT.
