With Ricky Gervais at the podium hosting the Golden Globes, there was never a question the body count would be high.
Nary an A-lister, presidential candidate or disgraced comedian was spared the invective of the scathing Brit, who resumed his hosting duties after three years of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (who also weren’t safe from his jokes at the Beverly Hilton’s International Ballroom).
Ben Affleck, Roman Polanski, Jennifer Lawrence, Sean Penn and more took a beating. Here’s our complete tally of his victims:
Ben Affleck
“He’s the only person
Donald Trump
Gervais said presenters Eva Longoria and America Ferrera were not just gorgeous and talented, but also “two people your future president Donald Trump can’t wait to have deported.”
Jennifer Lawrence
Gervais applauded America’s Sweetheart for calling out unequal pay for women in Hollywood, but wondered if blue-collar workers were worried about how she could ever get by on just $52 million.
Roman Polanski
Gervais said Polanski considered “Spotlight,” about the Catholic Church’s sex abuse scandal, “the best date movie ever.”
Sean Penn
After calling the crowd a bunch of sexual deviants in his opening remarks, Gervais said, “I’m going to do this monologue and then go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me.” He also called the actor a “snitch” for his role in helping authorities find El Chapo.
Caitlyn Jenner
Gervais remarked that the former Bruce Jenner has become “a role model for trans-people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers.” The dig refers to the fatal car accident Jenner was involved in last year.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
Discussing gender disparity in pay, Gervais said he was being paid “exactly the same as [Tina Fey and Amy Poehler] last year” for hosting duties.
“No, I know there were two of them, but it’s not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That’s their stupid fault. It’s funny because it’s true,” he added.
Charlie Sheen
Gervais said “Joy” and “Trainwreck” were the names of movies — “not the names of Charlie Sheen‘s favorite hookers.”
Bill Cosby
Searching for a compliment for Mel Gibson, Gervais said “he would rather have a drink in your room after the show than with Bill Cosby.”