Abby Clark (Connie Britton) answered some crazy emergency calls on the first season of Ryan Murphy’s “9-1-1.” But now it’s Jennifer Love Hewitt’s turn to deal with people’s bonkers problems. Because Hewitt is about to take over Britton’s headset as Maddie — a new dispatcher in the emergency call center and our new leading lady after Abby’s exit at the end of Season 1 — TheWrap decided to rank a few of the most mindbogglingly injuries and incidents we’ve seen on Fox emergency-responder procedural so far. Don’t worry Maddie, based on the previews for the Season 2 premiere this Sunday, we’re sure there is still plenty of bizarre cases waiting for you this year.
15. Snake chokehold
Well, it was scary. But like, it’s a boa constrictor strangling a woman. Is it weird we’re desensitized to the point this wasn’t actually that crazy?
14. Valentine’s killer
The only thing dumber than the female serial killer LAPD officer Athena Grant (Angela Bassett) had to face on V-Day was the idea of this female serial killer. But it did make for a heartbreaker of an episode.
13. The most poorly timed motorcycle purchase ever
There is bad luck, and there is buying a hog as a midlife crisis birthday present for yourself, only to drive it off the lot and be sliced in half moments later. The death was a tearjerker, as the dad had time to say goodbye to his son over the phone — but the sheer unbelievability of this emergency situation ever occurring gives it a spot on the list.
12. Big plane emergency
While we’ve seen more plane crashes on TV than we will ever be able to count, this one gets a spot on the list because it took up an entire episode and wove together so many different perspectives. Yeah, it’s been done to death. But the show handled the drama well. Bonus points for the added complications of a water landing.
11. Shot by a tree (basically)
The injury itself was a little ridiculous. But the backstory upped the emotion for this one. At the scene of a shooting, a man who abused his wife tries to blow up the tree where she hung herself to death, by firing at explosives he’s strapped to it. This go predictably awry. Did we mention this episode was called “Karma’s a Bitch”?
10. Tiger attack
Being mauled by a tiger? Meh. The Cecil the Lion-inspired storyline? Brilliant.
9. Little plane emergency
How does a little plane emergency rank higher than the big one? Again, the back story: Supposed engine trouble is just a setup to a marriage proposal, which then prompts what seems to be a heart attack. She’s rescued, though — and says yes! (We have no idea why.)
8. The dead not dead guy aka the man with “narcolepsy with cataplexy”
Thank god for psychics, because if they didn’t exist, the guy on this table here would have been autopsied. And that would be bad, cause he wasn’t dead. Luckily the man, who apparently had narcolepsy with cataplexy, woke up, but the shock of that led the morgue worker who almost cut him open to slice his leg. The twist in why they had to call 9-1-1 was pretty brilliant.
7. Roller coaster
Is there anyone who hasn’t thought they would get stuck upside down on an amusement park ride at one point or another? This fear seems pretty common and the fact the first guy died because he was thrown from the roller coaster, but the second just gave up and let go, made this emergency especially haunting. Especially for poor Buck (Oliver Stark), who blamed himself.
6. The crazy talking (not British) lady
A lady has a stroke — but we don’t know that part yet — and starts speaking with a British accent. She is not British. She just woke up like that. Her husband, naturally, calls 9-1-1, as all of us would do in that situation. It is honestly the most hysterical emergency the crew has responded to, so it lands fairly high in these rankings.
5. Abby cuts Buck’s neck open
Abby finally got her hands dirty in the Valentine’s Day episode when she went on her very first date with Buck — and ended up having to perform an emergency tracheotomy. Gross? Yes. Cool? Absolutely.
4. The world’s weirdest elevator rescue
Elevator emergencies are a dime a dozen. Elevators filling up with water and people almost drowning in them? Not so common.
3. Flying bouncy house
The idea of the wind picking up a bouncy house seems completely far-fetched — but this is one of those emergencies that “9-1-1” actually ripped from the headlines. The desperate-to-spoil-his-kids dad made it all the more painful to watch.
2. Baby in a pipe
The “9-1-1” pilot told us exactly how crazy this show would get when they pulled a BABY. OUT. OF A PIPE. IN. THE WALL. The premature child was flushed by her shocked teenage mother. The rescue was mesmerizing, painful to watch — and finally cathartic.
1. Rebar through the head
The team’s expert medic, Howie (Kenneth Choi) remained cool and collected while his buddies figured out the best way to save him after a bizarre car accident. All while he had a giant piece of rebar sticking out of his skull.
And we didn’t even include the tape worm, the domestic-abuse murder with a twist, the suicide-prevention-via-kick… and so many other insane moments. We’ll see if “9-1-1” can top it’s first season when the second installment begins with a two-night premiere on Sunday at 9/8c on Fox.
