“Today” host Billy Bush was officially let go from the show Monday, after the publishing of controversial tapes from a 2005 interview with Presidential nominee Donald Trump. But Billy’s career almost certainly isn’t done — he’s still got plenty of potential job opportunities. And we’ve got a few suggestions that we think are totally plausible. Totally. This is my serious face.
Art by Jordan Burchette.
“The View” Host: Rumors spread earlier this summer that Raven-Symone was leaving “The View,” and while it looks like she’ll be staying, good ol’ Billy might just be the perfect counterpart to help the host amplify her mostly unpopular opinions.
Dog Walker: This one is pretty simple, especially if Bush decides to take his business westward to Hollywood. Plus, Bush just seems like a dog person; you wouldn’t want to leave your cat with him for fear that it might get grabbed.
Kim Jong Un’s Food Poison Tester: This position is almost always open! It likely comes with some great bonuses, too — so while the title sounds dangerous, it would definitely make for one heck of a week-long career.
Minor League Baseball Player: So maybe Bush can’t mess around with the big leagues anymore. So what? He’s got just the right Dad Bod to fit in with the minor leagues. Maybe he could be the next Tim Tebow.
2017 AVN Awards Show Red Carpet Host: If there’s anything Billy Bush has been blamed for, it’s his clever interviewing tactics, which reportedly drive people to say the darndest things. The AVN Awards — which are basically the Oscars for the porn industry — seems like just the right place for Bush to either push people to the limit, or get told off by porn stars who behave better and more respectfully than his notorious 2005 interview subject.
White House Press Secretary for the Trump Administration: Is Billy Bush good at making excuses? Probably not. But during a campaign that has seen more employee turnover within the Trump Camp than one might catch at an all-new Starbucks location, Bush might well find his calling as the point person that exists between Trump and whichever five year old girl he tries to kiss (“on the cheek”) next.
Professional DJ: Can’t work as Trump’s press secretary? Time to get ready for HARD Summer, Billy. Bush could make a name for himself as a DJ with classics like, “Trump kissed a girl (and didn’t ask for her permission)”.
