If you think Mariah Carey‘s upcoming album “Me. I Am Mariah… The Elusive Chanteuse” has a crazy title — you’re absolutely right.
But the music industry has churned out crazier album titles than that. And history has proven again, and again, that a bad title doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to be bad albums. (Although, sometimes the quality of the music does live up to the quality of the album name accompanying it.)
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In honor of Carey’s May 27 release, TheWrap took a trip through the past to dig up albums with dumber names than “The Elusive Chanteuse,” and discovered these 11 gems, in order from least to most crazy:
11. R. Kelly, “Untitled”
Really? C’mon. That’s just lazy. Not to mention, an oxymoron.
Is it really untitled? Or did R. Kelly just think he was being as cool as a crazy person who wears sunglasses at night.
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10. Limp Bizkit, “Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water”
How the hell did this nu-metal band come up with this crazy-ass name for its third studio album, you ask?As it turns out, it was inspired by none other than an ass — lead singer Fred Durst‘s to be specific (that’s the “Chocolate Starfish”). If anybody has any issue with that, kindly follow Durst’s instructions outlined in the song “Hot Dog” and kiss his starfish.
What’s crazier than naming an album after your anus? This awful album is listed in the book “1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.”
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9. REO Speedwagon, “You Can Tune a Piano But You Can’t Tuna Fish”
This album was a hit in 1978, and the name sounds like it was thought of when the rock band got together to take a few bong hits.
The fishy pun paid off when the album sold over 2 million copies in the U.S., and went double Platinum.
It was also the band’s first to make the American Top 40 chart.
8. Coldplay, “Mylo Xyloto”
Pronounced My-low Zy-letoe, you’d think this creative title had some kind of deep, personal, spiritual or even mystical meaning to the band fronted by Chris Martin. But, nope. It means absolutely nothing.
“Other ones made more sense, but we just liked this one,” Martin told UK outlet The Sun. “That’s all we can defend it with.”
Why make sense when you can just make stuff up?
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7. The Police, “Zenyatta Mondatta”
Speaking of making stuff up, Sting and his comrades did the exact same thing years earlier for their third studio album.
“It’s not an attempt to be mysterious, just syllables that sound good together, like the sound of a melody that has no words at all has a meaning,” Drummer Stewart Copeland told Musician’s Only Magazine in 1980. “Miles (Stewart Copeland’s brother and group manager) came up with ‘Trimondo Blondomina.’ Very subtle. Get it? Like three blondes and the world. Then somebody thought of ‘Caprido Von Renislam.’ That rolls off the tongue. It was the address of the studio.”
Yeah, rolls right off the tongue — right after you ask all of your friends how they think you’re supposed to pronounce it.
6. Hoobastank, “For(N)ever”
It’s hard to imagine this rock band could top its crazy name and self-titled debut album “Hoobastank,” but in 2008, the quartet did just that with their greatest hits album, “For(N)ever.” What the hell does that mean? And what the hell is a Hoobastank? Who cares, though. Fans shouldn’t have expected anything less than another nonsensical jumbling of letters since lead singer Doug Robb teased the album on the band’s official message board by saying they “set the bar very, very high for this next CD.”
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5. The Flaming Lips, “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots”
This band is no stranger to strange, so this album name wasn’t a surprise to any Flaming Lips fans. It was even named the 26th Best Album of the Decade by Rolling Stone after it was released to critical acclaim in 2002, and was even certified Gold before being turned into a musical in 2012.
Still, one has to wonder what goes on inside frontman Wayne Coyne’s head. Crazy…or genius?
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4. Pete Townshend, “All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes”
This crazy-offensive album title was best explained by Townshend during a 1982 interview with Rolling Stone magazine:
“Basically, it’s about the fact that you can’t hide what you’re really like. I just had this image of the average American hero – somebody like a Clint Eastwood or a John Wayne. Somebody with eyes like slits, who was basically capable of anything – you know, any kind of murderous act or whatever to get what was required – to get, let’s say, his people to safety. And yet, to those people he’s saving, he’s a great hero, a knight in shining armor – forget the fact that he cut off fifty people’s heads to get them home safely. Then I thought about the Russians and the Chinese and the Arab communities and the South Americans; you’ve got these different ethnic groups, and each has this central image of every other political or national faction as being, in some way, the evil ones.”
Uh. Okay?
3. George Clinton, “Hey Man…Smell My Finger”
This album name from the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, known for his crazy hair and contribution to American funk, qualifies in the “crazy funny” category.
It’s also crazy funny to rattle off this demand to a complete stranger while standing in line for the bathroom at your local bar, night club or Starbucks.
2. Chumbawamba, “The Boy Bands Have Won and All The Copyists and The Tribute Bands and The TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture To Be Shaped By Mimicry, Whether From Lack Of Ideas Or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try To Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don’t Just Regurgitate Creative History, Or Hold Art And Music And Literature As Fixed, Untouchable And Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try To ‘Guard’ Any Particular Form Of Music Are, Like The Copyists And Manufactured Bands, Doing It The Worst Disservice, Because The Only Thing That You Can Do To Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It’s Over, Then It’s Done, and The Boy Bands Have Won”
They probably had some people at “The Boy Bands Have Won,” then lost them and everyone else with the extra 155 words that secured the band the record for the longest album title when it was released in 2008.
1. Fiona Apple, “When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘Fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You’ll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You Know That You’re Right”
Careful. Don’t spend too much time scratching your head while trying to decipher the meaning of this crazy-long album title, your scalp might start to scab. At least Chumbawamba’s crazy-long album name took a stand against one of the biggest menaces to society: boy bands.