Disney has been having a hard time finding someone to play Aladdin. We’re going to help them out and narrow down the search, but letting them know who not to cast. You know, just in case they get any ideas.
Jake Gyllenhaal
He’s a white dude.
Joseph Fiennes
He couldn’t even pass as Michael Jackson …
Christian Bale
Moses wasn’t a white guy and neither is Aladdin — so yeah.
Benedict Cumberbatch
Remember when this white dude played Khan Noonien Singh in “Star Trek Into Darkness”?
Russell Crowe
This white dude played Noah. I think that’s enough appropriation for a lifetime.
Johnny Depp
Still a white guy.
Ben Affleck
Do we still have to keep explaining this?
James D’arcy
…
Justin Chatwin
He’s. A. White. Guy.
Jim Sturgess
We think not.
Scarlett Johansson
Don’t even try it, Disney.
Emma Stone
Just … no.
