10 Reasons Santa Was Made for Hollywood

1. He produces none of the actual product but takes all of the credit.

 

2. He uses cheaper labor in a foreign land up north despite tailoring his schtick to American audiences, yet another glaring example of runaway production.

 

3. Like so many male stars, he has a beard.

 

4. He expects free plates of cookies (i.e. craft services) at every stop along the way.

 

5. Uses an alternative energy source for his transportation and encourages green in his customers. (In this instance, Santa was a man well before his time.)

 

6. His perpetually cheery disposition suggests the use of anti-depressants, or the fact that he may be bipolar (both North and South).

 

7. He often promises far more than he can realistically deliver.

 

8. He appears to be flat broke.

 

9. The years pass, but Santa never seems to age.

 

10. Feels little need to apologize for his rampant materialism. And as show business has long known, it isn’t about whether people deserve the toys that are coming to them — it’s simply an annual bonus.