“The Hobbit” dragon Smaug peeked his gigantic head into “The Colbert Report” studio Thursday to talk fiscal conservatism and blast Hollywood’s “liberal conservative bias.” Oh, he was also plugging a movie.
“It’s hard for conservatives to get good roles in this town,” the worm said of his type-casting as a villain. “That’s why Kelsey Grammar and I are always up for the same part.”
At one point, the future looked dicey for Stephen Colbert and his studio audience — but Smaug didn’t scarf down the Comedy Central host or his guests for one simple reason: “I’ve already filled up on the ladies of ‘The View,’” the lizard said of an earlier interview. “Weren’t they a feast.”
Smaug additionally lobbed insults at costars Orlando Bloom and Martin Freeman. Not finished, he added a shot at Benedict Cumberbatch, and also ripped the dragons from “Game of Thrones” and “How to Train Your Dragon.”
“Toothless?” Smaug asked aloud on the latter. “More like, Ball-less.”
Of other Hollywood and media interest, the dragon later quoted “There Will Be Blood” and made an at least semi-uncomfortable Trayvon Martin reference about Bilbo Baggins during his segment, before rolling a clip from new film “The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.”
Smaug was sure to warn the audience that he hasn’t read the J. R. R. Tolkien books yet though — and made it clear that he is not in the market for any spoilers. That said, it doesn’t appear like it’s going to end well for the dragon.