It seems a Supreme Court justice can’t die these days without some on the Internet questioning whether he might, just might, have been murdered.
No mainstream outlet has reported anything other than the facts — that Scalia was found dead at 79 on Saturday, and that Presidio County Judge Cinderela Guevara has pronounced that he died of natural causes.
But lots of news sites and agencies are noting the weirdness of Scalia apparently being found with “a pillow over his head,” as John Poindexter, owner of the Cibolo Creek Ranch, where Scalia’s body was found, told the San Antonio Express-News. And they’re finding ways to drop questions into their coverage without flat-out saying the judge might have been killed.
The Drudge Report went with the lead headline, “SCALIA FOUND DEAD WITH ‘PILLOW OVER HEAD.” Another headline noted that he had declined a security detail. Another noted debate over whether an autopsy was needed.
Gawker noted that different news outlets reported causes of death in “quick, confusing succession.” For a sprinkle of intrigue on top, the site noted reported that Guevara did not order an autopsy for Scalia — a decision that “seems even more conspicuous in light of unconfirmed reports that Scalia requested the cremation of his remains in his written will,” Gawker said.
“A cremation would, after all, likely destroy any evidence of foul play,” the site said.
World Net Daily, meanwhile, quoted Americans for Legal Immigration president William Gheen, who said that an autopsy for Scalia should be “immediate and mandatory” and threw in a surely-innocuous reference to liberals’ dislike of Scalia, because why not.
“Anytime a head of state, member of Congress, or the most conservative member of the U.S. Supreme Court is found dead, an extensive autopsy and toxicology examination should be both immediate and mandatory. The horrid reaction and comments about his death expressed by many liberals online illustrate that Scalia was hated by many people,” Gheen said.
And Infowars’ Alex Jones, never one to disappoint on the conspiracy front, promised to delve into “the apparent assassination” of Scalia, noting the “highly irregular and premature conclusion that Scalia died of ‘natural causes.’”
It’s probably enough to make Scalia spin in his grave, no matter how he died. Assuming he actually did die, and the Illuminati didn’t just place a lookalike’s body in his bed and whisk the judge off to a remote island for reprogramming.