Bill Maher caught his audience up on recent Trump-related news during his monologue on Friday’s “Real Time,” with particular focus on the number of people associated with his incoming administration who have been accused of sex crimes.
Which prompted Maher to joke that Trump will have “the first cabinet that’s asked to stay within 500 feet of a school.” Referring, of course, to a restriction registered sex offenders often have placed on them.
Then during his “New Rules” segment, Maher had one final wish before he leaves for vacation (Friday’s show being his last of 2024): “Can we please not let politics f— up the holidays?”
But first, the monologue, where Maher talked about how Trump’s original pick to be his next Attorney General, Matt Gaetz, dropped out due to growing scrutiny of the myriad accusations against him. (Which, to be clear, he denies.)
“Yes, Matt Gates, who was put up to be attorney general, has withdrawn. He’s out. The Republican said, ‘Yes. Too despicable, even for us,’” Maher joked. “Matt had a unique reason for withdrawing. You know, politicians. He said he wants to spend more time with other people’s children.”
This is reference to the multiple accusations that Gaetz has had drug-fueled sex with minors. And after detailing some of those accusations, Maher moved on to another Trump nominee.
“Oh, and then there’s ‘Fox and Friends.’ Pete Hegseth was nominated to be the Secretary of Defense. He was accused — again, just accused — of having, she says, non-consensual sexual relations. He says, consensual. So again, we don’t know. You weren’t there. I wasn’t there. We don’t know. But it does raise the question, Has anyone ever had sex with someone from Fox News and liked it?” Maher joked.
And then there was some new cabinet appointments. Linda McMahon, of the wrestling federation. She will be the education secretary. Do I really have to write jokes?” Maher continued. “And McMahon is in a lawsuit about enabling sexual shenanigans of some kind with the wrestling world. And then there’s not Gaetz and Pete Hegseth, RFK admitted to groping the nanny. I’m not saying this crew will not be good at their jobs, but they will be the first cabinet that’s asked to stay within 500 feet of a school.”
As for “New Rules,” you can watch that below: