In honor of a very special birthday on July 19, here’s a look at the moments that wouldn’t have happened in L.A. today
Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) narrates her own thoughts and calls her friends to talk.
If she had social media, she’d be able to tweet her feelings and post on Facebook much more efficiently.
Cher fails miserably on her driver’s test.
Nowadays, kids clock in hours of mandatory driving school.
Cher and her friends dress in short skirts to school.
Well, this still happens — but you could get dress-coded for it. The appropriate length in many L.A. schools is past the fingertip plus an inch.
Cher tries and fails to get Christian Stovitz’s (Justin Walker) attention — and later finds out he’s gay.
Perhaps if she had added him on Facebook and snooped through his page, Cher would’ve realized the new guy was a “cake boy.” Maybe he would’ve checked off “Men” in the “Interested In” section on his profile?
Cher and Dionne Davenport (Stacey Dash) gripe about getting in trouble with their parents over their report cards.
These days, it’s easy for even technologically challenged parents to access your grades online.
Whenever Cher and her friends say “as if,” “groovy,” “audi,” “stems,” “Baldwins,” “Bettys” and “buggin.’”
Two decades later, not all of the movie’s lingo has survived. “Whatever,” “like” and “totally” are still in our vocabulary — using “Baldwin” and “Betty” to describe an attractive man and woman are not.
Travis Birkenstock (Breckin Meyer) takes pride in having the most tardies in the class.
Sure, you might be ecstatic to have the most of anything, but you wouldn’t get just an announcement — too many tardies and you’d be suspended.
Cher uses a pay phone to call her ex-step brother Josh (Paul Rudd) to come get her after being mugged.
Functioning pay phones are a thing of the past. If Cher had a smartphone, she would’ve booked an Uber in a matter of seconds and probably avoided the robber. Also, no one remembers anyone else’s number by heart anymore.
Cher gives a dry oral presentation in class without a Powerpoint or any elaborate visuals.
Cher didn’t receive a phenomenal grade for that flimsy presentation and she certainly would have failed if she was being graded in 2015.
Dionne sports a Dr. Seuss-like hat in school.
Most Los Angeles schools don’t allow hats on at school, and students definitely wouldn’t pick one that looks like hers.
Cher’s friends wear chokers.
Chokers are a fashion trend of the past, as they should be.
Melvin “Mel” Horowitz (Dan Hedaya) tells Cher, “Everywhere in L.A. takes 20 minutes.”
With the amount of traffic in L.A. today, this is a flat-out lie.
Cher’s teachers use chalkboards.
An overwhelming number of classrooms have ditched chalkboards for computer whiteboards, though it hasn’t improved teachers’ handwriting too much.
Cher corrects Josh’s girlfriend on a Shakespeare quote.
Cher wouldn’t know the right quote simply because Mel Gibson said it on screen in a movie — she’d know from always using CliffsNotes for English assignments.
Cher drives her Jeep around town.
A high school teen with money wouldn’t go for a Jeep — a Benz or a Prius would be more likely.
Cher, Dionne and everyone in school uses cellphones in the school hallway.
Think you could walk through the cafeteria while calling a friend? As if! That phone would be confiscated, you would get detention and your parent would have to come pick up your phone after school.
Cher chomps on gum in class.
Most classrooms ban chewing gum because it ends up under the tables and on chairs. Yuck.
Cher’s closet mixes and matches outfits for her.
It’s 2015 and we still don’t have technology as advanced as that. We’re buggin’.
Cher and Dionne’s gym class consists of standing in line for 40 minutes before hitting one tennis ball.
We’ll give modern physical education props. It’s much more fun than the one in “Clueless.”
